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PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 4:30 pm 
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Hair Trigger of Doom

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Finch Platte Wrote:
Lol.

"Late Show with David Letterman," CBS

"Good news, ladies and gentlemen, we have finally located weapons of mass destruction: It's Dick Cheney."


"But here is the sad part -- before the trip Donald Rumsfeld had denied the guy's request for body armor."


"We can't get Bin Laden, but we nailed a 78-year-old attorney."


"The guy who got gunned down, he is a Republican lawyer and a big Republican donor and fortunately the buck shot was deflected by wads of laundered cash. So he's fine. He took a little in the wallet."

"The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," NBC

"Although it is beautiful here in California, the weather back East has been atrocious. There was so much snow in Washington, D.C., Dick Cheney accidentally shot a fat guy thinking it was a polar bear."


"That's the big story over the weekend. ... Dick Cheney accidentally shot a fellow hunter, a 78-year-old lawyer. In fact, when people found out he shot a lawyer, his popularity is now at 92 percent."


"I think Cheney is starting to lose it. After he shot the guy he screamed, 'Anyone else want to call domestic wire tapping illegal?' "


"Dick Cheney is capitalizing on this for Valentine's Day. It's the new Dick Cheney cologne. It's called Duck!"


This is proof positive that Letterman is eons better than Leno. How can anyone prefer Leno to Dave???

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 4:34 pm 
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frostingspoon
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I think some people have the idea that Dave is a prick, so any good jokes or delivery fall on hostile ears.

I've never thought of him as a prick, more of a midwestern intelligent guy who will never lose his awareness of and disdain for the weasels and insufferable shits in the industry.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 4:34 pm 
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Yeah. That Leno stuff is just plain awful. People are being paid to write those shitty jokes. Depressing.

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 4:52 pm 
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frosted a. spoon Wrote:
from the guy's heart


Proof positive that the guy wasn't really a Republican.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 5:13 pm 
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Failed Reunion
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frosted a. spoon Wrote:
God Bless Keith Olbermann.


I love that guy.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 5:14 pm 
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Go Platinum

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I think that it's just kind of silly that the news people are crying about. The press corp was more concerned about how it took them a day to get the information instead of right away than the increasing risk of future conflict with possible nuclear threats in the world. I watched a bit of the journalists asking the press secretary about it and they are all a bunch of cry babies.

I guess I will never understand why a journalist is anxious to make a story about something when all the facts are not together. They want to piece everything together bit by bit so that endless amounts of conjecture can be formulated by the general public(Like when the talked for days and days about the guy that possibly killed his wife and kid without even knowing anything). The newsmedia seems to be nothing more than a tabloid anymore.

And don't get me started on politicians either. Good lord. They're not even people working for the country anymore. They are celebrities. Watching the news is like watching Entertainment Tonight. Across the board, they are more concerned with their image than actually serving their country. It doesn't even matter what party you're in. It's all the same. I think that the U.S. government is going to implode from all the self-serving, personal agenda bullshit that is sucking the life out of this country.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 5:27 pm 
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frostingspoon
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You watch Susan Collins in action sometime. She may be dulll, but she certainly is not part of the concerned only about her image crowd. I'm not a Republican, but I'm certainly impressed that someone from my dinky little town is as focused and unmoved by political pressure as she is.


Last edited by no guru on Tue Feb 14, 2006 11:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 7:18 pm 
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British Press Hype
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Listening to the news now. It strikes me as interesting how much I know about this guy's condition. Now there may be a single bb lodged near his heart. This is a big contrast with our usual understanding of guns and gun violence where it's "bang, you're dead" especially as seen on television and in the movies. Maybe it's good that we're following this guy's twists and turns through complications. You mean guns can fuck us up?


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 8:20 pm 
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frostingspoon
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"quailtards"


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 8:26 pm 
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frostingspoon
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Cheney was liquored up.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 8:58 pm 
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frostingspoon
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This guy has crack Wrote:
Cheney was liquored up.


I have zero doubts about this.

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 15, 2006 1:09 am 
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High School Poet
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With all due respect, I'd rather go hunting with Cheney than take a car ride over the bridge with Teddy Kennedy.

At least, Cheney will make sure you make it out alive.

Somehow, I bet there are kook far-leftists hoping that this guy that got shot dies.

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 15, 2006 2:40 am 
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May contain Jesus.
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The man who was shot had a minor heart attack apparently.

Quote:
Man Shot by Cheney Has Mild Heart Attack

By LYNN BREZOSKY and NEDRA PICKLER, Associated Press Writers1 hour, 38 minutes ago

The 78-year-old lawyer wounded by Vice President Dick Cheney in a hunting accident suffered a mild heart attack Tuesday after a shotgun pellet in his chest traveled to his heart, hospital officials said.

Harry Whittington was immediately moved back to the intensive care unit and will be watched for a week to make sure more of the metal pellets do not reach other vital organs. He was reported in stable condition.

Whittington suffered a "silent heart attack" — obstructed blood flow, but without the classic heart-attack symptoms of pain and pressure, according to doctors at Christus Spohn Hospital Corpus Christi-Memorial.

The doctors said they decided to treat the situation conservatively and leave the pellet alone rather than operate to remove it. They said they are highly optimistic Whittington will recover and live a healthy life with the pellet in him.

Asked whether the pellet could move farther into his heart and become fatal, hospital officials said that was a hypothetical question they could not answer.

Hospital officials said they were not concerned about the six to 200 other pieces of birdshot that might still be lodged in Whittington's body. Cheney was using 7 1/2 shot from a 28-gauge shotgun. Shotgun pellets are typically made of steel or lead; the pellets in 7 1/2 shot are just under a tenth of an inch in diameter.

Cheney watched the news conference where doctors described Whittington's complications. Then the vice president called him, wished him well and asked if there was anything that he needed.

"The vice president said that he stood ready to assist. Mr. Whittington's spirits were good, but obviously his situation deserves the careful monitoring that his doctors are providing," the vice president's office said in a statement.

Cheney, an experienced hunter, has not spoken publicly about the accident, which took place Saturday night while the vice president was aiming for a quail. Critics of the Bush administration called for more answers from the Cheney himself.

Whittington has said through hospital officials that he does not want to comment on the shooting. A young man at Whittington's Austin home who identified himself as his grandson said Tuesday he did not have time to talk to a reporter and closed the door.

The furor over the accident and the White House delay in making it public are "part of the secretive nature of this administration," said Senate Democratic Leader Harry Reid of Nevada. "I think it's time the American people heard from the vice president."

Before hospital officials announced details of Whittington's condition, the hunting accident had produced a raft of Cheney jokes on late-night television.

"I think Cheney is starting to lose it," Jay Leno said. "After he shot the guy he screamed, `Anyone else want to call domestic wiretapping illegal?!'"

On Tuesday morning, the White House spokesman briefly joined in the merriment, joking that the orange school colors of the visiting University of Texas championship football team should not be mistaken for hunters' safety gear.

"The orange that they're wearing is not because they're concerned that the vice president may be there," press secretary Scott McClellan said. "That's why I'm wearing it."

Hospital officials said they knew that Whittington had some birdshot near his heart and that there was a chance it could move closer since scar tissue had not had time to harden and hold the pellet in place.

After Whittington developed an irregular heartbeat, doctors performed a cardiac catheterization, in which a thin, flexible tube is inserted into the heart, to diagnose his condition, said Peter Banko, the administrator at the hospital.

The shot was either touching or embedded in the heart muscle near the top chambers, called the atria, officials said. Two things resulted:

_It caused inflammation that pushed on the heart in a way to temporarily block blood flow, what the doctors called a "silent heart attack." This is not a traditional heart attack where an artery is blocked. They said Whittington's arteries, in fact, were healthy.

_It irritated the atria, caused an irregular heartbeat known as atrial fibrillation, which is not immediately life-threatening. But it must be treated because it can spur blood clots to form. Most cases can be corrected with medication.

White House physicians helped advise on the course of treatment, hospital officials said.

Texas officials said the shooting was an accident and no charges were brought against the vice president.

A Texas Parks and Wildlife Department report issued Monday said Whittington was retrieving a downed bird and stepped out of the hunting line he was sharing with Cheney. "Another covey was flushed and Cheney swung on a bird and fired, striking Whittington in the face, neck and chest at approximately 30 yards," the report said.

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 15, 2006 4:29 am 
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Go Platinum

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sensei Wrote:
Somehow, I bet there are kook far-leftists hoping that this guy that got shot dies.


am i missing something or is this term not supposed to be offensive in the "racial slur" category?

if not, what the hell does kook mean?


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 15, 2006 4:30 am 
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Forever moderating your hearts
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Main Entry: kook
Pronunciation: 'kük
Function: noun
Etymology: by shortening & alteration from cuckoo
: one whose ideas or actions are eccentric, fantastic, or insane : SCREWBALL

maybe youre thinking of chink?


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 15, 2006 4:33 am 
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I think I was thinking of a mix between gook and kike.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 15, 2006 5:29 am 
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KILLFILED

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Hegel-oh's Wrote:
I think I was thinking of a mix between gook and kike.


I think we might have found a yenta for Hines Ward.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 15, 2006 10:23 am 
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Major Label Sell Out
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Hegel-oh's Wrote:
I think I was thinking of a mix between gook and kike.


a jewish chink?

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 15, 2006 12:30 pm 
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The Great American Songbook

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sensei Wrote:
With all due respect, I'd rather go hunting with Cheney than take a car ride over the bridge with Teddy Kennedy.

At least, Cheney will make sure you make it out alive.

Somehow, I bet there are kook far-leftists hoping that this guy that got shot dies.


Finally, someone on this website who understands politics.

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His name was Jun. Disillusioned she tried to forget.
She left everything and traveled to the other world.
But life was like a dream.
A series of meaningless movement.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 15, 2006 12:33 pm 
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frostingspoon

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"at least, Cheney will make sure you make it out alive"

what an odd thing to say.

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 15, 2006 1:39 pm 
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Go Platinum

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Hegel-oh's Wrote:
sensei Wrote:
Somehow, I bet there are kook far-leftists hoping that this guy that got shot dies.


am i missing something or is this term not supposed to be offensive in the "racial slur" category?

if not, what the hell does kook mean?


Have you never listened to Hunky Dory?


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