"Regional Manager Rock"

-invented by pinehurst in 1999 whilst attending a corporate meeting. The intro music was "Supernatural" by Santana, an album that is the quintessence of Regional Manager Rock. The man who presided over the meeting (an actual Regional Manager) spent a couple minutes raving about how great the album was before delving into the meeting.


Other examples are post-1989 Eric Clapton, Jackson Browne, Los Lonely Boys, and lately Jack Johnson.

How about Oilfield Customer Asshole Rock. Very similar genre to Reginal Manager Rock. In fact I think it's an off shoot.

Coined today. Fresh from a trip entertaining customers at a camp in Jackson, LA. The quintessiential recording is BB King and Eric Clapton's Riding with the King. Which is played very loudly while others are trying to talk. Also the asshole who keeps playing it tells really stupid long jokes while we pretend they're funny because he's a customer.

Other examples is any Eric Clapton post 1990 or any reunion he's been a apart of.

Fuck-All

A genre where the performer just plays whatever the fuck they feel like, heedless of genre, and just makes themselves happy. Pretty much unclassifiable stuff, with odd blending of styles that sound completely new.

Examples:
Tom Zé, Shrimp Boat (you knew it was coming), (early) Camper Van Beethoven

I call this Housewife Rock.


JAIL ROCK -- any album, decided by me, Bloor, Derris or whoever, that you can get thrown in jail for owning.
AKA Monger Rock.

Classic Snob:
Older bands (generally from the 60's and 70's) that can be lumped into larger, more mainstream genres, such as Mod, Psych, Prog, etc. But these are bands that never had a hit or made an impact on anyone other than hardcore record collectors.

Examples:
The Creation, Les Orme, The Millennium, Emitt Rhodes, Big Star (The Beatles of the genre)

how about "crap"

everything I don't like.

or

"we've got kids and a minivan but we still rock!"

-largely includes AOR staples as U2, Coldplay, Dave Matthews, etc... But tend to include one "out there" artist like Missy Elliot or something.

Blogrock?

Artic Monkeys, etc, who are purported to be "it," and listeners can enjoy weeks of casual name-dropping before the cool wears off.

I used to call jambands "Festival Rock."

I think "Shoegazi" (rhymes with Fugazi; post-hardcore meets psychadelics) had potential until Juno broke up. Bastards.

No hit, no impact?????

im going to have to adopt this

or i'd call it labelpaysmetomessageboardplugthecrapband-core

Spank Rock.

"alt. weightlift"

its a pretty wide open genre
it has to sound good while pumping iron

examples: live, creed, sugar ray, sublime, and the goo goo dolls

Hmm, there's a guy I work with who thinks he's just the hippest when it comes to rock music. He still has mid-back length hair (which is very nasty with split ends) and rocks the ponytail, drives a friggin Dodge Charger (the new one that he purchased after he got rid of his day-glo yellow Dodge Durango, and butt-ugly red PT Cruiser with personalized tags), and is genuinely interested in hearing the new G'n'R album. He's also a big fan of Seether, System of a Down and KISS. He also collects professional hockey jerseys. I think he makes decent moolah, but his wife is the real bread winner, and they have 4 daughters. He's around 40. He's also from Texas. What in the hell would that genre be called?

Mid-Life Baseness? Or over-the-hill landfill?

I don't understand why you and everyone I know spells it Artic. It's Arctic, right?

It is arctic, it just doesn't get pronounced that way. See: "Prolly." Which I find muuuuch worse. Tho I do pronounce Probably correctly.

I pronounce it arctic

The stuck in the 90's commercial alternative or eternally loyal to grunge genre.
Inspired by the mid 20's to early 30's people, mostly men, who really only listen to Nirvana, Pearl Jam and Smashing Pumpkins with some NIN, Weezer and Soundgarden thrown in. These people weren't hardcore enough in this era to be fans of The Pixies, Pavement or Sonic Youth.
A.K.A. most of my friends from high school who really no longer buy albums.

the FT-coined WussUK genre: travis, coldplay, embrace, turin brakes, etc.

if it wasn't for the family
i'd think you were describing my older brother

he collects sports hats that cost under 6 dollars

i call it "77 thunderbird rock"

countronica

pronounced with emphasis on the 'cunt'

electonic country music

this is the reason I don't go to the spinning class at my gym anymore. The instructor insisted on playing an electronica version of Faith Hill's "Breathe." Oh, and then the MANY times she played the Eagles "Hotel California" (live version too!) during the hill-climbing portion of our class. I thought I would die.

I guess "no impact" is too general a statement. Of course The Creation and Big Star had an impact. I meant on the non-musician, non-music geek public, at large.

Maybe just "no hits" should stand alone.

Basically any band referenced in LCD Soundsystem's "Losing My Edge"