On December 25th I was to fly out of Norfolk Virginia at 1230pm, catch a flight in DC and make my way back to San Jose. I got a call at 9am telling me that my dc flight was cancelled because there was no crew to operate my flight. First, how the fuck is that possible? I sure don't know.

They rebook me on a flight that leaves VA at 530pm and goes through chicago. Long LONG story short, the flight doesn't take off until 9pm. I got on the plane crossing my fingers that my connection in CHI was delayed. After being in the air for 15 minutes, the captain comes on and says, "we cannot configure our wings for a fuel efficient flight, so we're going to have to go back to Norfolk. We should be on the ground in about 10 minutes". One hour from take off we finally land back in VA. Eventually the flight gets cancelled. I am in the airport until 1245am sorting out my fiasco for the next day.

I get a flight that leaves at 730am to chicago and on to oakland this time. I check the status in the am and it says the plane is leaving at 8am now. No problem. Will still make my connection. Crew shows up late. We finally board at 820. Captain comes on at 845 and says there is no potable water for the plane(meaning we need a refill so as to use the bathroom and have the luxury of airplane coffee). After waiting for about 20 minutes the captain comes back on saying that thewater truck is not fueled so he made the executive decision to jus leave and not be able to use the "lavatory" or have coffee. However, the day after xmas it decided to snow one foot in Norfolk, which happens maybe once every 5 years. So, now we have to get in the line up to get de-iced. We finally take off at 930am. I get to chicago and have missed my connection by 10 minutes. The only time in the history of me flying to chicago that my flight leaves on time is the time when I cannot get there on time. FUCK! So, I stand in the customer service line which has TWO agents working it for an hour and a half.

Long story short, I finally make it onto a standby flight to San Jose. I made it home at 7pm CA time. A full 24 hours later than sheduled. I arrive. My baggage does not.

Yes, there's more:

I file a claim at the baggage claim. The agent there tells me that my bags were loaded onto a flight that landed in oakland 30 minutes after my arrival in San Jose. He said I should have it at the latest by today. Surprise Surprise. I have no luggage. I have called the baggage people multiple times today where I would get cut off every time. The automated system is now telling me that my bags left chicago on a flight to oakland at 12am on 12/26(mind you, At that time and date I am still in Virginia getting a ticket to chicago from my original cancelled flight WITH MY BAGS). Now I am finally in the loop to talk to a baggage agent and the automated voice says, "your call will be answered in approximately 84 minutes". 84 MINUTES!!? What the hell is that!! Who waits for an hour and a half. On a cell phone no less. So far I have been on hold for 47 minutes.

I have no underwear man. It was all in that bag.

Moral of this story: Don't EVER fly United. EVER!

or Delta!

(don't feel like typing out why....)

Uhm, you took ALL your underwear to VA? And you live in San Jose, surely, you have clothes there, don't you?

Btw, that story is the reason why I refuse to engage in holiday travel.

that story is fuel for the "i hate air travel" fire that burns deep in my heart.

ummm... yeah.

Btw, here's a piece of advice I learned back in the days when I used to travel for work...

If you check your main luggage in, always take an extra bag with you onboard (eg, backpack) that contains the following: spare underwear, toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant (though, most airlines will give you this stuff, sans the underwear, once you report your luggage lost)...and the all important, music to listen to. I've only had my luggage delayed/rerouted once and was sooo glad that I had my extra bag with me when I arrived at my destination.

Ohhh, and if you can, throw in an extra shirt.

Tania knows her stuff, and so does discostu:

Gate check your bags. Just get a claim ticket right when you are boarding (i.e. a step away from the entrance to the plane). On larger flights, your bags will be waiting for you at baggage claim. On express jets (that I often fly), the bags will be waiting for you as you step of the plane.

are you originally from norfolk?
my wife is from norfolk...she's actually there right now, flying back later this afternoon. hopefully she has a more smooth trip back west.

Oh my god, that's horrible... I heard a similar horror story from a friend's brother who was stuck in Orlando for 3 days and finally got home at noon on Christmas day. I'm not sure what airline he was on, but NPR did a story yesterday on USAir, and how there was a major fuckup over the holidays with luggage and staff calling in sick. Something about US Air employees having low morale... it seems to be a problem with ALL the airlines.

And ditto on what Tania said. This is why I never check bags if I don't have to. I've become somewhat of a master at packing a bunch of shit into a very small carry-on.

I had a relatively smoothe flight to and from KS. Bloor dropped me off at 7am at the ATL airport, I used the electronic ticket thingy, just swipe a card, find yr. name, and mob to your gate. The line was long, but relatively painless. Only snag was my belt buckle. I usually rock a Rolling Stones tongue belt buckle, but figured, I should not, because it's big and metal. So I wor my regular old RL belt, and sure enough, even that buckle set the fucker off. Got to the gate, sweet talked the lady, and got bumped to first. Had two screwdrivers, put a slow mix on the ipod and went to sleep.

Home was similar...except that I got myself put on a Federal watch list from here to eternity. I was dropped off early, the airport in KC was VERY uncrowded, and you have to go through the metal detector right before you get on the flight. So I went to the bar, pounded a few Boulevard Wheat Ales (goddamn that beer is good) and proceeded to the security check point about 15 minutes before the flight was to take off.

This is where it gets good. I apparently forgot that I had a 3 and 1/2 inch blade stuffed in my computer/carryall bag. A 3 and 1/2 inch blade that got through ATL security on Christmas Eve!! So, not only does my belt set the fucker off again, prompting a wanding/pat down by the rent a cops. Then they find my knife, take my license, write me up some form, and call the cops. The whole time I'm like "put it in the trash and lemme on the plane," but of course they must follow procedures. The cop measures it, and tells me "If this were half an inch longer, we'd be taking you out in handcuffs."

I'm a pretty likely terrorist subject, to be sure. Half drunk, giant, wearing a starched shirt with my initials on the cuffs and a blue pin striped blazer, carrying my computer and all other sorts of paraphernalia, like Q magazine and an iPod. I understand that I'm the asshole here, but it ain't a big deal. Throw it in the trash and lemme on the plane.

Anyway, next time you hear about Barry Switzer forgetting he had a gun in his carry on, think of old Gar here, and chuckle.

I try not to fly nowadays - too many terrorists threatening my freedom out there...

this year has seemed worse than usual for holiday travel nightmares. i took my sister to PHL on sunday without knowing if i'd have to go back to drag her home because her flight wouldn't be leaving. that's one of the airports where there was a major US Airways sick-out. bags and people were scattered all over. friends of mine had been stranded all over the country. it was a mess. luckily, i decided to drive the 11 hours home instead of taking a 2-hour flight. i really fooled them...