NOTE: Commentaries are here and sponsored by Avenue Q. You'll need Realplayer to access the audio links.
Huskerpunk and myself are the league champions. Yay us. Despite my attempt at integrity, OPA insists that I take the prize. The CD lists and addresses are on each respective board. Please call dibs on a CD and send it ASAP. As a fun week 17 bonus, I thought we'd do an inter-league contest. Everyone should have my email, but just in case: colin dot mcginnis at btopenworld dot com
Huskerpunk (Super Bowl): Email me a starting line-up from your week 16 roster. I will enter a line-up from my Round Table squad. Nothing riding on it except bragging rights.
everyone else (Pro Bowl): Email me a starting line-up using anybody you want. Anybody. I'll calculate scores manually, and whoever has the highest score gets a hearty pat on the back.
League 1
Fast-Paced Ruralites 100.38
Team Pinoy 75.20
The League 1 championship was the league's closest game... at 25 points. Yikes. The Ruralities' victory was largely defined by the running game: Tiki Barber (22-109, 1 TD rushing, 2-14 receiving on 5 targets) and LT had a much stronger day than Curtis Martin and Emitt Smith. With the bench performances of Reuben Droughns (22-91 2TD rushing, 2-30 TD receiving on 2 targets) and Lee Evans, coach Husker seemed to go easy on Team Pinoy when he knew the game was in the bag. "Yeah, he's pretty classy for not running up the score. Hicks don't do that very often," remarked coach cthulu. While the press were tempted to jump on his bigoted comment, they wisely shrugged it off.
You know what they say... As for Team Pinoy, they just weren't good enough today even if they had played Larry Fitzgerald (4-70 2TD receiving on 9 targets, 2-10 rushing). Daunte Culpepper (16-23-285, 3 TD passing, 3-21 rushing) led the way as he had for most of the season. In the end, Team Pinoy will learn
the joys of giving by sending a CD to Arkansas.
Knights Who Say Ni 83.44
elephantstoners 128.72
Given that the Knights were 2-0, many expected this game to be in the bag for coach Sketch despite having fewer total points. "Not a chance," smirked coach j after the game. The 3rd-place game was an ass-whooping in every sense of the word. The stoners' running attack was at full speed with Shaun Alexander (30-154 3TD rushing, 0-0 receiving on 1 target) and Larry Johnson. Peyton Manning (27-44-383, 2 TD, 1 INT passing, 1 for -1 rushing) also performed well, reflecting his team captaincy. When inquired about how this game was different from the prior two meeting against the Knights, coach j revealed his
gameday secret. There was very little coach Sketch could do today to win; even starting Drew Brees would have gotten him the second highest score this week. Mushin Muhammad (8-115 receiving on 10 targets, 2 TD) escalated to All-Pro form, but team captain Edgerrin James (22-86 rushing, 5-41 receiving on 8 targets) just didn't get the job done. While the front office made a lot of moves mid-season, they have plenty of time to re-evaluate while coach Sketch pursues
his fictional, long-distance relationship.
Smokin' With Ricky 43.14
Schadenfreude 84.22
The carnage continued in the fifth place game as Coach joy led his team to a solid finish after its horrendous start. He could not have coached any better with his roster: Trent Green (32-45-358, 2 TD, 1 INT passing, 2-12 rushing, 1 fumble lost) and Kevin Jones (25-123, 1 TD rushing, 1-8 receiving on 2 targets) almost had the game won by themselves. Coach joy's postgame was highlighted with a lot of discussion of
team concept. Meanwhile, there wasn't much for GM Billz to be happy about: While Nate Burleson played well, Coach Gibbs didn't start Tony Gonzalez (11-124, 2 TD receiving on 12 targets) or Darrell Jackson (6-101 receiving on 13 targets). The running attack was almost non-existent due to injuries. Perhaps it was an eight-place team returning to form, but the Ricky fans were frustrated. Many of them pleading with Billz
not to spend the entire off-season on the couch.
the andalusian dawgs 77.82
Silver Hammers 45.50
The 7th-place game was relatively merciful; coach bitterbuffalo beat coach Max by less than 40. Jake Plummer (21-26-308 2TD INT passing, 7-28 rushing) and Michael Clayton (4-66 receiving on 7 targets, 2 TD) led the dawgs, and everyone else's contributions were enough to ensure the victory. Having been near the bottom for most of the season, coach bitterbuffalo was grateful that things were looking up for his franchise, and looks forward to
giving back to his dawg community in the off-season. Meanwhile, people will talk about the Hammer Drop for months. The toast of the league during the first-half of the season, the Hammers lost six of their last seven games to miss the playoffs, and it appears coach Max was so frustrated that he gave up during the consolation bracket. Nick Goings (33-127 rushing, 4-39 receiving on 4 targets) and Javon Walker (5-90, 1 TD receiving on 9 targets) were the only starts on offense to score more than 3 points. He assured us that while he currently struggling, he
trusts next year will be better.
League 2
The Round Table 97.84
McNabb's Nads 81.72
Going into Monday night, the Nads were trailing with Brian Westbrook to play. Coach Sketch had his own Eagle on the other side in Donovan McNabb. Thanks to Philly's home-field lock in the playoffs, both of these players were the lowest scoring starters in the game, ensuring a championship for coach Sketch. Larry Johnson (25-79, 2 TD rushing, 4-43 receiving on 5 targets) led the Table's running attack with Thomas Jones (22-109 rushing, 4-34 receiving on 4 targets, 1 fumble lost) making a worthwhile contribution from the bench. Once again, coach OPA started the wrong Colts wide receiver as Brandon Stokley (7-123, 1 TD receiving on 10 targets) had the superior performance, but it would not have made a difference in the final. Credit should go to OPA for the play of late acquisition Lee Evans (8-92, 2 TD receiving on 9 targets, 1-21 rushing) who led a very deep receiving squad this week. Both coaches were all smiles after the game. Due to playing in both leagues, Sketch offered the CD prize to his opponent, secretly hoping that OPA
wouldn't take it the wrong way. OPA deferred the prize back to the champion, re-assuring him that the best coach deserves the goods. Sketch's heart was indeed warmed at the gesture, and the winning coach shared with the runner-up that
his love, while platonic, is still unconditional.
The Unbaited Vicars 77.82
POstMershian Invader 84.56
Coach Spade has been the master of Monday night comebacks, but his blessing seemed to run out during the third place game. A lack of Terrell Owens could be considered a factor (though he may not have played much anyway). Trent Green, Domanick Davis (30-150 rushing, 1 TD, 5-39 receiving on 6 targets), and Donald Driver (11-162, 1 TD receiving on 18 targets) did their best to keep things interesting; David Patten, however, did not. Coach Spade was his usual humble and reverent self, spending of his mike time talking about his upcoming
ruminating in the off-season. While slightly disappointed with a third-place finish, coach postmersh was pleased with his team's efforts today. Jake Delhomme (19-24-214, 4 TD, 1-12 rushing) had the passing game of the week, and the running back tandem of Kevin Jones and Ahman Green (19-64, 1 TD rushing, 4-26 receiving on 4 targets) was enough to get the job done. Congrats to the Invader on a successful season and the bronze medal.
The Keppersofts v2.0 63.10
Phat Ass Nutsack 64.90
The consoldation bracker provided for some exciting games, especially the fifth-place game. Coaching was a struggle for coach Bateman this week has his two best performances were both quaterbacks. While Drew Brees (21-31-290, 3 TD, 1 INT passing, 6-12 rushing) proved to have the slight edge over Brian Griese (30-41-321, 3 TD, 2 INT, 1 fumble lost, 2-3 rushing), the wide receiver play would have made the difference in this very close game. The starting combo of Andre Johnson and Hines Ward was 3rd and 5th on the team in receiving points. While his performance this week just missed the mark, his late-season comeback has many Keppersoft fans hopeful for next year. Coach Bateman, however, felt stressed out over such a long season that he was
pining for simpler times. Meanwhile, coach robotboy's late-season dip was balanced out by winning the consolation bracket. Yes, he caught a lot of flack for benching Marc Bulger (20-27-225 passing, 1 TD, 0 Int, 3-7 rushing) and Nick Goings, but in the end it proved irrelevant. He got the win on the legs of Willis McGahee (15-102, 2 TD rushing, 1-14 receiving on 1 target, 1 fumble lost). Coach robotboy savored the victory and the ability to use the Internet for this competition
among other things.
TheCrazy88 79.98
The Yoko Ono's 72.68
The 7th-place game proved to be a close and rewarding one for coach Heartcooksbrain. Getting into the consolation bracket on the last game of the regular season, he recuperated nicely from last week's loss mainly due to Warrick Dunn (18-52, 1 TD rushing, 6-87 receiving on 6 targets). Yes, he could have started Tony Gonzalez or Ben Roethlisberger (14-19-221, 2 TD, 1 INT, 2-11 rushing), but in the end what he had on the field with Drew Bledsoe and team captain Antonio Gates was enough. As for coach lockstock, his final game of the season was an exercise in frustration. Three of his vital skill positions did not play, limiting his options. LaDainian Tomlinson (21-81, 1 TD rushing, 5-95, 1 TD receiving on 6 targets) kept them in the game, and Tom Brady's performance from the bench (21-32-264, 2 TD passing, 4-3 rushing) wouldn't have won them the game even if he had played. It's tough to be one game away from the playoffs and wind up in eighth place. Coach lockstock reflected on his season and
his trade to acquire quarterback Matt Hasselback during the pre-season.
Week 17 All-Stars
QB: Jake Delhomme
RB: Shaun Alexander, Reuben Droughns
WR: Lee Evans, Mushin Muhammad, Donald Driver
K: Steve Christie
Def: Houston
Season All-Stars
QB: Peyton Manning
RB: Shaun Alexander, LaDanian Tomlinson
WR: Mushin Muhammad, Terrell Owens, Javon Walker
K: Adam Vinatieri
Def: Buffalo
