I'm still waiting for the photo to load on redworms first post.

how did you end up with friends, plural, with missing fingers?

I think the more disturbing trend is the fact that he shakes people's hands. I don't think I've shaken anyone's hand in months.

No, no... No one wants to shake hands with you. You filthy cab-pissing wedding-reception yob-giving Greek.

My oldest son got the top third of his index finger chopped off above the knuckle when he was three, in a bizarre old-timey exercise bike accident. We were at a party and all the kids were in this room with the aforementioned exercise bike, and while my son was playing around with the chain and sprockets, some other kid unwittingly started pedaling. It wasn't until we had my son at the hospital that we realized the piece of severed finger was still back at the house wedged in the chain of the exercise bike. Someone from that house rushed it over to us on ice, the doctor reattached it, and the only noticable defect today is the fingernail curls all the way over the top of the finger.

That was a pretty traumatic experience. The weird part is he was wearing a wacky t-shirt plastered with a bunch of fake shark bites and fake blood, which ended up being obscured by his real blood. Poor little guy. That was like eight years ago now, though.

np: R.E.M. - "The Worst Joke Ever"

Damn. Tough kid.

The photographer for our high school senior portraits was missing half a finger (middle I think). Dude always used it as a point of reference. "Alright, look up at my hand." "Yeah, sure... WHAT THE?" *click*

God knows how many rotten proofs he gets because of that.

Yeah, and he's already 5'3", 183 lbs. with a man's size 11 shoe at just 11 years of age. SOB won't even be 12 until next January. I mean, I'm a large man, but if this kid gets any bigger, I'm going to have to summon LooGAR for a paternity test.

np: Dwight Yoakam - "A World of Blue"

trust me there will be no photo. I've been staring at deglovement photos for the past 2 hours and I can assure you they'd make your head explode. or just ruin your lunch like it did for me.



Haq, I don't know how I have 2 friends with missing fingers, but I know one was from an exercise bike. I never worked up the nerve to ask the other one.

which brings me to telling Bob that I think 40% of missing finers are from exercise bikes. Seriously, the silent (finger) killer.

Yeah, you are a big dude, but holy shitballs. Knocking on 2-Hundy at 11 years old? Can you actually hear him growing?

Oh and this reminds me of a story a coworker once told me... His dad worked in a metal machine shop way back, and one day a new guy lost a finger on a machine. The foreman wrapped it in a rag, and asked him to show him how he did it. The guy gestures with his other hand at the (still running) machine, and *zip* loses the other finger.

As to the point of Cotton's original query regarding the squeamishness of shaking hands with the dexterily deformed, we had a priest when I was a kid who had pretty much a nub in the place of his right hand, and before you had a chance to try and switch out hands, he'd wrap your right hand around his nub with his left hand all in one seamless motion.

np: David Gilmour - "Raise My Rent"

I knew a dude in college that was born with 3 fingers, but they made one of them into a thumb at birth...same thing...weird as hell shaking hands.

Dude rolled the best Js in town, tho

I coordinate meetings here at work and the dude that brings me my breakfast orders (sometimes for up to 50 people) only has one hand. He tears that plastic wrap off the trays of food like you wouldn't believe. Steady with the nub... rrrrrrrip with the hand.

how is that even possible? I shake hands with everyone. I find that it shows a little more respect to someone than a casual wave and a "hey"

Do you stand up and shake when its someone you don't know/know casually/haven't seen in a while.

That's real courtesy

I usually have that awkward "uhhh are we gonna shake or not?" moment, and then go for it. Sucks. Somebody's gotta step up and initiate it.

always. Most people that don't stand up to shake hands (there are a few exceptions, but not many) should be kneecapped. It's just as bad as one of those limp-ass shakes or (even worse) not looking someone in the eyes when shaking their hands. That drives me nuts.

(puts another mark in the "Angry Cotton" file)

must be a pretty hefty file.

Pretty much sums it up.

The dead fish is the worst...
As is the too hard squeeze
I usually don't stand up if I am behind a table or another place its kinda awkward for me to get up...always stand for a lady...and ALWAYS if I want to intimidate/make it know who's boss.

well at 5'7" it's more of just a respect thing, but I always make sure a steak knife is in my other hand.....


and yeah, sometimes you can't get out from a table to stand, but you got it.

I sort of enjoy the "kiss on the cheek while shaking hands/half hugging" hello. Of course you can't do that with strangers (or can you?), but I do it with my friends, even the casual ones.

I always initiate handshakes and I think that freaks some people out. Are girls allowed to initiate?

this goes on all the time in NY and annoys me, maybe just because there's no way to know when it's coming, so it always ends up being awkward.