Ever drop some lunk and have it hit the water with such velocity that the water splashes up all over your bum? I mean, you flush before you sit down, but who knows what is gestating in that water?!

Ugh. Don't get me started.

The thread isn't called "don't post them here".

This will be our next four page thread.

dane cook bit about bathrooms cracks me up..."everything is fucking wet"

nothing out of the ordinary. i very rarely "drop some lunk" in public restrooms, though. maybe 5 or 6 times per year.

i've rationalized most of them away. i can pretty fearlessly traverse the broad landscape of public restrooms.

My advice is if the toilet lid is down always flush before you lift it up or you could get a very nasty surprise.

When people piss on the seat, and then I need to sit down. WTF. Lift up the toilet seat, or use a urinal.

People who excessively use 50 paper towels to open the door. Look, they did a study and germs get through them, so yr damned if you do, damned if you don't.

I flush the toilet using my feet because I don't want to touch the handle and risk getting poo germs on me. I take a paper towel before I start washing my hands so I don't have to touch the faucet after my hands have been cleaned. On my way out, I grab the door handle using a paper towel. Again, poo germ phobia. Growing up with my germophobe mother has done this to me.

Also if you put down a 'layer' of paper before you go it minimises splash and reduces any embarassing 'plop' noises.

the alibi here in portland...gives me nightmares. it is so small that going in there w/o touching the walls/door/stall is like playing Operation

Pretty much won't shit in a public toilet.
When I was a kid I wouldn't even piss in a toilet with a black seat (insert Dalen/license plate joke here)

I hate washing my hands in public restrooms. I feel my *ahem* junk is probably cleaner than whatever the nasty fucker before me got on the water knobs.

Many times, in HS, I would leave school to drop a deuce. In college, I missed a lot of classes post lunch because of the need to "take it to the house."

That what you wanted to know?

I don't have a irrational fear of the public wc, but I have a tendency not to touch anything within that space.

Yeah, when I "Drop the kids off at the pool" in work, and that water splashes I get all paranoid and often wonder what may be lurking..I also cover the toilet seat with about 2-3 seat covers as well, but that's just to make it comfy.

No joke. Automated faucets and paper towels instead of hand dryers are a must.

1. I get stage fright when someone stands at the urinal next to me when there's one not next to me available.

2. I only go #2 in public restrooms when I absolutely have to and even then I hold it until all others have left.

3. I get stage fright when someone I don't know talks to me in the bathroom.

4. I get stage fright when there's a line of people behind me all waiting for a urinal to open up.

All of this and I am WAY better than I used to be.

Isn't that on par with most white males in the deep south?

parody threads > bathroom related threads.

This happened to me last week here at school. I go into the restroom and head to the urinal. There's a guy there already and he looks at me and says in an overenthusiastic voice "Hey! How's it going?" (I've never seen him before). I think I said something like "not too bad..." without making eye contact. Then he says "So, ya workin' hard or what?!" At this point I'm thinking either this is a social psychology experiment or this guy's a fucking maniac. Outside of a bar where you find plenty of chatty drunks, I've never had that happen before.

I guess mine would be accidentally walking up next to OPA! at a urinal and not being able to fart.

I'm pretty much in Haq's boat with this. It's gotta be really filthy to bother me anymore. That said, I try don't use many public bathrooms.





you know if you put a coupla squares in the water before you get started on this you wouldn't have that problem, right?

I never shit at a bar, because most bar bathrooms don't have locks or doors on the stalls.
I hate it and fear when somebody tries talking to you while you are crapping in a stall, especially at a Department store or Mall.
I won't crap in a stall that someone has left one stewing in, unless it is the only stall and I can't hold it in.

Loog,
Where I work, we only have black toilet seats.

handful of 2ply
squinting into the stench
of the stall's last occupant
working hard enough
to break a sweat
to pass the driest,
prickliest of loaves
but it's not the loaves
i'm working for
Greg from accounting
peaks in below the door
"hey guy", he says,
"whats going on?"

What the hell is the deal with the guys who need to leave their nose goblins all over the stall walls? This, by the way, is a weekly and sometimes daily occurence at work, so it's not little kids doing it. There's toilet paper right there, guy, just do your wiping on some of that. I closed the stall door the other day to be greeted by an abstract painting created entirely out of chunky and sometimes bloody mucus. The guy doing this had to lean quite a bit forward and stretch to accomplish this, so it's not because it's easier to leave the pickin's on the wall that these people do it.

And seat-stainers. What THE HELL?! They leave that little upside-down V of smeared shit on the back of the seat. What is going on with their cheeks that causes it to not go down into the toilet but instead squish back up through the cheek-cleavage?

There's some guy at work who flushes the toilet like 8 times in quick succession. It's not disturbing, just humorous. It's like toilet-tourettes or something.