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 Post subject: things men shouldn't do over 30
PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 12:11 pm 
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According to Esquire Magazine [as reported on MSN's Lifestyles], there are some things a man should never do ever again when he passes the age of 30.

1. Coin his own nickname.

2. Use a wallet that is fastened with Velcro.

3. Rank his friends in order of best, second best, and so on.

4. Hacky sack.

5. Name his penis his name plus junior.

6. Hang art with tape.

7. Hang The Scream, unless he stole it from the Munch museum in Oslo.

8. Ask a policeman, "You ever shoot anybody with that thing?"

9. Ask a woman, "Hey, you got a license for that ass?"

10. Skip.

11. Take a camera to a nude beach.

12. Let his father do his taxes.

13. Tap on the glass.

14. Shout out a response to "Are you ready to rock?"

15. Use the word collated on his resume.

16. Hold a weekly house meeting with roommates.

17. Name pets after Middle Earth characters.

18. Jokingly flash gang signs while posing for wedding photos.

19. Give shout-outs.

20. Use numbers in place of words or locations, such as "the 411" for information, or "the 313" for Detroit.

21. Hug amusement-park characters.

22. Wear Disney-themed neckties.

23. Wake up to a "morning zoo."

24. Compare the trajectory of his life with those of the characters in Billy Joel's "Scenes from an Italian Restaurant."

25. Request extra sprinkles.

26. Air drum.

27. Choose 69 as his jersey number.

28. Eat Oreo cookies in stages.

29. Volunteer to be a magician's assistant.

30. Sleep on a bare mattress.

31. End a conversation with "later skater."

32. Hold his lighter up at a concert.

33. Publicly greet friends by shouting, "What's up, you whore?"

34. Wear Converse All Stars with a tuxedo.

35. Propose via stadium Jumbotron.

36. Decide anything based on the ruminations of Howard Stern.

37. Call "shotgun" before getting in a car.

38. Dispute someone else's call of "shotgun."

39. Whine.

40. Mist up during Aerosmith's "Dream On."

41. Purchase fireworks.

42. Google the word vagina.

43. Ride a pony.

44. Sport an ironic mustache.

45. Hit 13 against a 6.

46. Organize a party bus.

47. Say "two points" every time he throws something in the trash.

48. Buy a novelty postcard in another country of topless women on a beach and write, "Wish you were here" on it.

49. Keg stands.

50. Purchase home-brewing paraphernalia.

51. The John Travolta point-to-the-ceiling-point-to-the-floor dance move; also that one from Pulp Fiction.

52. Put less than ten dollars' worth of gas in the tank.

53. Keep a minuscule amount of marijuana extremely well hidden.

54. Read The Fountainhead.

55. Watch the Pink Floyd laser light show at a planetarium.

56. Refer to his girlfriend's breasts as "the twins."

57. Own a vanity plate.

58. Whippits.

59. Say goodbye to anyone by tapping his chest and even so much as whispering, "Peace out."

isn't there a photo of loogar committing #18?


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 12:13 pm 
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Failed Reunion
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ok I've done #45 recently but I was really drunk and on tilt

edit: plus, I won! :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: things men shouldn't do over 30
PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 12:14 pm 
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TEH MACHINE
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mojo Wrote:
Isn't there a photo of loogar committing #18?


He's not over 30.

I still got my shitty velcro wallet though.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 12:15 pm 
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I'll add:

-Wear a jersey with another man's name on it.

-Wear a jersey with your name/nickname on it.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 12:15 pm 
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#44 should not be done by men under 30 either.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 12:17 pm 
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Yail Bloor Wrote:
I'll add:

-Wear a jersey with another man's name on it.


Can we get an exception for the now-banned "Ron Mexico" #7 Falcons jerseys?

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 12:26 pm 
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Big in Australia
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Quote:
10. Skip.

I do this every now and then.
Fuck GQ... it feels good.

And for them I'll add: Read a goddamn magazine that comes with cologne samples.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 12:32 pm 
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PopTodd Wrote:
Quote:
10. Skip.

I do this every now and then.
Fuck GQ... it feels good.

And for them I'll add: Read a goddamn magazine that comes with cologne samples.

I've been known to skip, Todd, I'll concur. And I have bad allergies, so I can agree on point two as well.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 12:34 pm 
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Yail Bloor Wrote:
I'll add:

-Wear a jersey with another man's name on it.

-Wear a jersey with your name/nickname on it.



FRICK!

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 12:46 pm 
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frostingspoon
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druucifer Wrote:
#44 should not be done by men under 30 either.

I'd say the same about every single one of those items.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 12:46 pm 
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I'm 23 and wouldn't do 99% of these...actually I'd probably only eat an Oreo in stages, which I will never give up.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 12:50 pm 
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FT Wrote:
Yail Bloor Wrote:
I'll add:

-Wear a jersey with another man's name on it.


Can we get an exception for the now-banned "Ron Mexico" #7 Falcons jerseys?


Classic. Must be done.

Can't say that I agree with hackysack, but I still have another 10 years to enjoy that.

I'm reminded of George trying to implant T-bone as his nickname in the last season of Seinfeld...classic violation of rule #1

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She left everything and traveled to the other world.
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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 12:51 pm 
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Spade Kitty Wrote:
ok I've done #45 recently but I was really drunk and on tilt

edit: plus, I won! :lol:

what is it?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 12:53 pm 
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I'm sporting an ironic mustache right now, and damn if I don't look good with it. I'm 26 though.

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Baltimore is a town where everyone thinks they’re normal, but they’re totally insane. In New York, they think they’re crazy, but they’re perfectly normal. --John Waters
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 Post subject: Re: things men shouldn't do over 30
PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 12:57 pm 
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DumpJack Wrote:
mojo Wrote:
Isn't there a photo of loogar committing #18?


He's not over 30.

I still got my shitty velcro wallet though.

A) Not over 30
B ) NO
C) -- I have a fine Cowboys Jersey with my "Diamondave" on the back that I reserve the right to wear at any time -- though have not donned in public in 5 + years
D) Feel free to wear the jersey with another man's name on it, just remember that you are legally giving him the right to "take your manhood"

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harry Wrote:
I understand that you, of all people, know this crisis and, in your own way, are working to address it. You, the madras-pantsed julip-sipping Southern cracker and me, the oldman hippie California fruit cake are brothers in the struggle to save our country.

FT Wrote:
LooGAR (the straw that stirs the drink)


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 12:58 pm 
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Go Platinum
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katie, a princess Wrote:
Spade Kitty Wrote:
ok I've done #45 recently but I was really drunk and on tilt

edit: plus, I won! :lol:

what is it?

Blackjack


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 1:06 pm 
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frostingspoon
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shouldn't "Spending time on an internet message board" also be up there?

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 1:10 pm 
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Go Platinum
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I'll have as many sprinkles as I god damn like, GQ!

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 Post subject: Re: things men shouldn't do over 30
PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 1:14 pm 
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6. Hang art with tape.

how else am i supposed to hang $5 art from local freaks?

13. Tap on the glass.

what does this mean?


14. Shout out a response to "Are you ready to rock?"

if i ever stop yelling at concersts, kill me.

26. Air drum.

if i ever stop air drumming, kill me

28. Eat Oreo cookies in stages.

fuck that noise.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 1:16 pm 
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elephantstone Wrote:
shouldn't "Spending time on an internet message board" also be up there?


i've heard this, and to me it makes no sense.
over 30 is when you should start boarding.

kids in college should be out making out with other hot college kids.
kids in their 20's should be doing blow of strippers tits.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 1:21 pm 
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Whiskey Tango
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jewels santana Wrote:
i've heard this, and to me it makes no sense.
over 30 is when you should start boarding.

kids in college should be out making out with other hot college kids.
kids in their 20's should be doing blow of strippers tits.


agree with you on all these jewelsy


jewels santana Wrote:
13. Tap on the glass.

what does this mean?


like, to get peoples attention before you make a toast, right?

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 1:51 pm 
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frostingspoon
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jewels santana Wrote:
elephantstone Wrote:
shouldn't "Spending time on an internet message board" also be up there?


i've heard this, and to me it makes no sense.
over 30 is when you should start boarding.

kids in college should be out making out with other hot college kids.
kids in their 20's should be doing blow of strippers tits.

unless you are boarding to waste time at work, you have no excuse.

board is not life.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 1:59 pm 
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The Great American Songbook

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elephantstone Wrote:
jewels santana Wrote:
elephantstone Wrote:
shouldn't "Spending time on an internet message board" also be up there?


i've heard this, and to me it makes no sense.
over 30 is when you should start boarding.

kids in college should be out making out with other hot college kids.
kids in their 20's should be doing blow of strippers tits.

unless you are boarding to waste time at work, you have no excuse.

board is not life.


or boarding to waste time in between classes. i realize smoking a bowl is probably cooler but france is not exactly cool. not in that way at least.

_________________
Once she loved a boy. But he did not love her.
His name was Jun. Disillusioned she tried to forget.
She left everything and traveled to the other world.
But life was like a dream.
A series of meaningless movement.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 2:26 pm 
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Go Platinum

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Yail Bloor Wrote:
I'll add:

-Wear a jersey with another man's name on it.


Why not?

<=== proudly sports both a Billy Kilmer Redskins jersey and a Rod Langway Caps sweater.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 2:54 pm 
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I'll add one...

60) Have band stickers on his car.

I put some on my car back when I was 26 in a "it sounded good at the time" sorta move. I recently tried to get them off and it's a bigger pain in the ass than I thought. I can do it I'm sure but I'll have to let it soak in "wipe away" for a while before going at it.


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