I don't have a blog to write this in, so am gonna ramble here. Feel free to move on if you don't wish to read.

Ramble #1: It's been a little over three months since my mom passed away. I feel I've done fairly well in the Mourning Department, but fuck it all if these long weekends spent at home alone aren't the worst. I need to finish getting rid of a lot of shit in this house and have been postponing it all day. I'm fuckin' depressed, don't wanna go out, yet feel restless. I've no idea what to do with myself. Does watering the yard help?

Ramble #2: I started my day with two of my best friends coming over. One of them, Julie, just lost her dad earlier in the week. He had suffered two strokes, renal failure and his battle with cirrohsis had finally come to an end. He was remarried and Julie didn't much care for the new wife, Rita. She is a fairly nice woman, a bit on the odd side, but loved and cared for Julie's dad.

Julie wanted to go to her dad's house to pick up a few things and needed support. I wasn't sure what she needed -- I figured that she just wanted some photos to use for the memorial service they're organizing. For some reason, Julie felt that Rita did not wish her in her father's home. Mind you, Julie grew up in that house and is the legal owner. But, understanding what she was going through, I offered to be by her side in case she needed emotional fortification. It turned out to be an emotional outburst on Rita's side. Julie took pans, photos and cups (yeah...cups, aluminum ones at that) from the house. Rita took offense thinking that Julie didn't trust her. Wrong timing on Julie's part? Heck yeah. Rita was practically on the verge of a nervous breakdown...meantime, Maria (our other close friend) and I sat by, witnessing it all rather uncomfortably.

I felt horrible. And later told Julie that her actions were not something I would've done. Taking items from the house just seemed so cold and heartless while the poor wife is grieving over her dead husband. I don't feel right having been a part of it which further adds to the depression I'm already feeling. Maybe it's the fact that Julie's not had a chance to start mourning properly...I dunno. Maybe she needs to be her in dad's house to feel the warmth of his memory. We all mourn differently. All I know is that it's triggered my mourning into high gear.

Ramble #3: I wanna get drunk.

Ramble #4: Why have I had no luck finding a date? Just one fucking date? My self-esteem is not doing well. Perhaps liquor will fortify it.

Surely, you're still not reading this crap. If you are, get me a drink. Thank you.

tania, i'm sorry about your mother passing away. i remember you mentioned that she was in the hospital last december.

i hope you find a cute, scottish boy, NOT on e-harmony.

Hang in there, T! Better days lie ahead.

Oh great...now my quote isn't working.

Thanks, Tear-n. A cute Scottish boy would be lovely, wouldn't it?

Bob, I'm trying, man...I'm trying.

Why settle for just one?
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I'll share some of my sandwich with you, there's a bit left. And I've got a jug of wine I'm working on. Both of these have considerably helped my self-esteem actually.

If ya think about it, only two of those are REALLY Scottish. Not to mention, two of 'em are married.

well i'm off to do some more research for you. i hope all of the cinematics are scottish.

let's just say that all of them are scottish. but it's really all about the singer and guitarist.

[img][600:570]http://myspace-646.vo.llnwd.net/00302/64/68/302808646_l.jpg[/img]

just found out, they're on snl tonight.
[img][392:500]http://www.franzferdinand.co.uk/cms/asset_store/image/b_200509154095711.jpg[/img][/quote]

A Rambler would be pretty damn cool to drive. In that exact colour too.

Btw, Tear-n, I'd like attainable Scottish boys -- got any of those?

The Jeep dealership two towns over from me has a slew of primo-mint AMC cars on its lot--including a sweet red Rambler 'vert '66 or so, three AMX's, and a couple late '40's Jeeps.

Shit, AMX's? I'd go for the Rambler over the others anyday.

if the adage 'good things happen to good people' is really true, then oyu are in a for a world of goodness coming your way when you least expect it.

Of course I read the whole thing, Tanny, and here's your drink. Keep on keepin' on.

Me?

I was sad today and I really needed someone (still do), but there wasn't anyone around.

On the plus, I didn't let any frustration out on my customers and I had sugar and caffeine and sun and a chalk board to draw on.

you've got my number T...if you ever want to bitch about this shit call away.

things will turn around...in the past week things have changed incredibly for me and it all just sort of came out of nowhere. i've beengetting morenumbers than i know what to do with.

just start drinking (i guess) and put yourself out there more....you have to do what you can to regulate the house and get past the your mom situation. life can be good, you just have to be willing to forget the bad, get drunk, and be the life of every party.

sorry, i don't. but festival season is almost here...t in the park, glastonbury...there you'll get your hands on plenty of attainable scottish boys.

I can't get you a drink 'til tomorrow (blue laws), but you're welcome to sit on my front porch and drink beer six days a week henceforth. I even have a spare room, though haven't worked up to a spare bed as yet..

Know I owe you mail, but I get about 20 minutes of non-work related typing a day and am behind, behind, behind. Hang in. You're a fabulous person. I will be on the lookout for a scot for ya. Go west, young man, I'll tell him.

Things I learned this weekend:

• Having any sort of cake is better than having no cake at all

• I am not nearly as annoying as 2/3 of the women who came into my store since Friday

• My dreams of being an awesome chalk board artist are, apparently, far from becoming a reality

• Fannypacks live!!

Fannypacks must die!

So. True.

And you should have seen this one woman's. Huge! I think she was holding her pocket book in the damn thing.