Scene From An Art Gallery Opening
(Man approaches woman that is admiring a large painting hung on wall)
Brad: Hey.
Jennifer: Whats the haps?
Brad: (appraising the painting) I really like this piece. Kinda artsy-fartsy though.
Jennifer:Rilly?
Brad: Well, I mean look at it. Kind of prideful isn't it?
Jennifer: Its a sophomore effort by the artist. Alot of synergy, no?
Brad
vigorously nodding head) Mmmm...
Jennifer: Irregardless, it's the most seminal thing he's ever done.
Brad: You think its attractive?
Jennifer: More than that. Its unfuckwithable.
Brad: I admit that its really unique...
Jennifer: You see the pattern that emerges after you stare at it awhile?... its totally a paradigm shift from his earlier work.
Brad: What's this painting titled?
Jennifer: "SK8R 4 EVER"
Brad: (disinterestedly) Supposedly his parents are rich.
Jennifer: Funnily enough, I heard that too.
Brad: What's that music playing?
Jennifer:
Jimmy Eats World
Brad: Sorta kitchy, eh?
Jennifer: Yeah, but its got some killer guitar licks.
Brad: Agreed.
Jennifer: So what's the dealio?
Brad: Do what?
Jennifer: D'ya know the artist?
Brad: Naw. I was walking by and saw that the gallery was offering free food, drinks and whatnot.
Jennifer: (raises glass) Holla! I've had like, a jeraboam of wine already.
Brad: (points to plate) This Polska Kielbasa ain't bad neither.
Jennifer: Delish!
Brad: Are you a foodie too?
Jennifer: (stuffs piece of sausage into her mouth) Well...I work hard so I play hard.
Brad: True dat. This opening was much funner than I had originally thought. Let's party!
Jennifer: Let me speak to that.
Brad: (puzzled) uh?
Jennifer: I'm a chanteuse.
Brad: (looks confused)
Jennifer: I'm singing torch songs tonight for the opening.
Brad: (suddenly comprehending) Rad! When do you go on?
Jennifer: Antidotally...in a few minutes.
Brad: (turns baseball cap on head sideways) You know, you've got
pizazz.
Jennifer: Ya think?
Brad: (points) Are the boys over there backing you up?
Jennifer: Bling!
Brad: (excitedly) I knew it. When I first saw you standing her I said to myself, "Now there's an xtreme lady".
Jennifer: You know it!
Brad: (touches Jennifers arm) Then you won't mind if I hit that from the back later...
Jennifer (aghast): Erm...
Brad: (whispering) Cuz your ass is like nuke-u-ler.
(uncomfortable pause)
Jennifer: (steps back) Um, I think I'm going to have to let you go.
Brad: What?
Jennifer: (walking away) Your zero fun.
Brad: (shouts to fleeing Jennifer) Peace out dawg!
Brad: (snarfing more sausages): Pfft. I could care less...
