Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 18 posts ] 

Board index : Music Talk : Rock/Pop

Author Message
 Post subject: my first day at the office....
PostPosted: Thu Jan 20, 2005 8:32 am 
Offline
Go Platinum

Joined: Sat Dec 04, 2004 1:39 am
Posts: 6365
Location: Australia
so i was sitting there shredding paper for kicks and before i knew it the shredder was full, then this guy walks in to shred some documents. I was about to tell him that the shredder was full and would probably jam but he was too quick, as soon as i opened my mouth to caution him, he shoved his documents in there like he was stuffing a turkey. It jammed. I let off a chuckle; inaudable. He then proceeded to attempt to free the jam by inserting a pair of scissors into the shredder and rummaging around. He didn't turn the power off. The scissors were pulled into the shredder and with them, his finger......he pulled it out before it got cut at all. I chuckled again, more loudly this time, but still not loud enough. Then he tried to free the scissors with a pencil, and whaddya know, it got sucked in as well. By this time i was turning red and about to burst. He opened the shredder's receptacle and it was so full all the shreddings burst out, like baby snakes from the mother snake at the feast on Indiana Jones: Temple of Doom. He was slightly covered with shreddings, the pencil was mangled, the scissors were disfigured, and the shredder, all but destroyed. I swiftly left the room and entered a vacant one, and released my built up inner tension. I laughed for around 5 minutes constantly. The only way this could have been funnier was if his tie was pulled in as well, but alas, he wasn't wearing one. Sorry for wasting your time, but thanks for listening.[/list]

_________________
dances on all fours...


Back to top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jan 20, 2005 11:05 am 
Offline
Queen of Obner

Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 1:24 pm
Posts: 15259
Location: El Pueblo de la Reina de Los Angeles
Do you work with idiots? What a nimrod! It's apparent that you need to use a RULER not scissors to unjam shredders. ;)


Back to top
 Profile YIM 
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jan 20, 2005 11:07 am 
Offline
frostingspoon
User avatar

Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 11:47 am
Posts: 13881
Location: parts unknown
Thai is so 'Haiku Tunnel'

_________________
http://www.geminicrow.com


Back to top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jan 20, 2005 11:10 am 
Offline
Big in Australia
User avatar

Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 11:00 am
Posts: 19821
Location: Chicago-ish
this did not happen.
it was a very bad, old movie that you saw.
right?

_________________
Paul Caporino of M.O.T.O. Wrote:
I've recently noticed that all the unfortunate events in the lives of blues singers all seem to rhyme... I think all these tragedies could be avoided with a good rhyming dictionary.


Back to top
 Profile WWW 
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jan 20, 2005 11:24 am 
Offline
Indie Debut
User avatar

Joined: Wed Nov 03, 2004 5:46 pm
Posts: 1644
Location: The Dirty South
Quit this job now!!!! If this guy is so blatantly dumb imagine how subtly stupid everyone else is bound to be.

_________________
I'm not a businessman, I'm a business..........man.


Back to top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jan 20, 2005 11:30 am 
Offline
High School Poet

Joined: Sun Jan 02, 2005 2:29 pm
Posts: 149
Location: nyc
TheTwilightKid Wrote:
Thai is so 'Haiku Tunnel'


"ooohh, i know an office comedy that isnt office space..."



ha, just kidding

_________________
We really shook the pillars of Heaven, didn't we, Wang?


Back to top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jan 20, 2005 11:40 am 
Offline
Garage Band

Joined: Tue Nov 16, 2004 10:30 pm
Posts: 711
Location: Illinois (central, of course)
That must be some powerful shredder to be able to mess up some scissors. Ours can barely handle 4 sheets of paper at a time. Bravo!


Back to top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jan 20, 2005 12:01 pm 
Offline
frostingspoon
User avatar

Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 11:47 am
Posts: 13881
Location: parts unknown
Jerk. Wrote:
TheTwilightKid Wrote:
Thai is so 'Haiku Tunnel'


"ooohh, i know an office comedy that isnt office space..."



ha, just kidding



[play on screenname]Sometimes you can be such a jerk!!! [/play on screenname]

_________________
http://www.geminicrow.com


Back to top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jan 20, 2005 12:05 pm 
Offline
Go Platinum

Joined: Sat Dec 04, 2004 1:39 am
Posts: 6365
Location: Australia
i'm just a temp there.......im still a student

_________________
dances on all fours...


Back to top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jan 20, 2005 1:37 pm 
Offline
frostingspoon
User avatar

Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 11:35 am
Posts: 14323
Location: cincy
Awesome story.

I haven't laughed that hard at a post in awhile


Back to top
 Profile WWW 
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jan 20, 2005 1:41 pm 
Offline
frostingspoon
User avatar

Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 11:47 am
Posts: 13881
Location: parts unknown
I think I could possibly top it.. I have such characters in my office. To call em 'f*ckin idiots' would be an insult to f*ckin idots everywhere. How we stay in business sometimes baffles me.....

_________________
http://www.geminicrow.com


Back to top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jan 20, 2005 2:52 pm 
Offline
Go Platinum
User avatar

Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 8:37 pm
Posts: 7618
Location: Knee-deep and sinking
Pagoda Wrote:
Quit this job now!!!! If this guy is so blatantly dumb imagine how subtly stupid everyone else is bound to be.



No, stay! Theres got to be a high turnover rate with people this dumb. You'll be calling the shots in no time!


Back to top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 21, 2005 12:47 am 
Offline
Go Platinum
User avatar

Joined: Sat Dec 04, 2004 1:48 am
Posts: 7332
Location: Cloud 3.14159
Pagoda Wrote:
Quit this job now!!!! If this guy is so blatantly dumb imagine how subtly stupid everyone else is bound to be.
Well, it's a delicate balance between 'growth' (in which one would need smarter people than yourself around you) and 'job security' (in which one would need dumber people than yourself around you). I think you've erred on the side of job security.

_________________
I remain,
:-Peter, aka :-Dusty :-(halk


Back to top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 21, 2005 1:10 am 
Offline
frostingspoon
User avatar

Joined: Sat Oct 23, 2004 1:38 pm
Posts: 10237
Location: Hill
Amazing. I can't believe that actually happened. That's like America's Funniest Home Video that's not on video.


Back to top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 21, 2005 2:58 am 
Offline
Self-Released 7-Inch

Joined: Thu Nov 11, 2004 7:38 pm
Posts: 1052
Location: 1 Mile High
Pagoda Wrote:
Quit this job now!!!! If this guy is so blatantly dumb imagine how subtly stupid everyone else is bound to be.


No way! stay, you can do a mediocre job and rocket to the top!

_________________
You're not going crazy. You're just going sane in a crazy world.


Back to top
 Profile ICQ 
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 21, 2005 5:04 am 
Offline
Go Platinum
User avatar

Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 11:51 am
Posts: 6327
One time I got sacked it had a shreading theme.

I worked at an insurance company and I'd been there a couple of weeks. Obviously they get a lot of mail, claims and stuff, and I had to carry that weeks mail up to the office from the mail/filing room so the claims could be processed. There was three piles all about 2ft tall so I could only carry one at a time. This is what I did, dumping the first and second bundles in the office....AT THE EXACT SPOT WHERE EVERYTHING THAT NEEDS TO BE SHREADED IS PLACED AND AT THE EXACT TIME THE SHREADER MAN CAME TO TAKE WHAT NEEDED TO BE SHREADED AWAY. What are the odds of that? He only came once a week!

Anyway, when I came back up with the pile three, piles one and two were gone and when they found out what happened (not from me I hasten to add, some one grassed me up!) I was gone too,

_________________
He has arrived, the mountebank from Bohemia, he has arrived, preceded by his reputation.
Evil Dr. K "The Jimmy McNulty of Payment Protection Insurance"


Back to top
 Profile WWW 
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 21, 2005 5:44 am 
Offline
Go Platinum

Joined: Sat Dec 04, 2004 1:39 am
Posts: 6365
Location: Australia
classic

_________________
dances on all fours...


Back to top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: my first day at the office....
PostPosted: Fri Jan 21, 2005 6:59 am 
Offline
Cutler Apologist
User avatar

Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 6:44 pm
Posts: 7978
Location: a secret lab underneath the volcano
a mighty good leader Wrote:
so i was sitting there shredding paper for kicks and before i knew it the shredder was full, then this guy walks in to shred some documents. I was about to tell him that the shredder was full and would probably jam but he was too quick, as soon as i opened my mouth to caution him, he shoved his documents in there like he was stuffing a turkey. It jammed. I let off a chuckle; inaudable. He then proceeded to attempt to free the jam by inserting a pair of scissors into the shredder and rummaging around. He didn't turn the power off. The scissors were pulled into the shredder and with them, his finger......he pulled it out before it got cut at all. I chuckled again, more loudly this time, but still not loud enough. Then he tried to free the scissors with a pencil, and whaddya know, it got sucked in as well. By this time i was turning red and about to burst. He opened the shredder's receptacle and it was so full all the shreddings burst out, like baby snakes from the mother snake at the feast on Indiana Jones: Temple of Doom. He was slightly covered with shreddings, the pencil was mangled, the scissors were disfigured, and the shredder, all but destroyed. I swiftly left the room and entered a vacant one, and released my built up inner tension. I laughed for around 5 minutes constantly. The only way this could have been funnier was if his tie was pulled in as well, but alas, he wasn't wearing one. Sorry for wasting your time, but thanks for listening.[/list]


Jesus, this made me laugh so hard I started crying. I only wish I could have seen this in person.


Back to top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 18 posts ] 

Board index : Music Talk : Rock/Pop


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 33 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Style by Midnight Phoenix & N.Design Studio
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group.