Anytime the doorbell rings after 11 p.m., it's GOT to be bad news...

It seems a couple of 12-year-old party girls whacked out on DAT METH decided to take their mama's Lexus for a little incoherent joyride last night, which abruptly ended in my front yard. There were two casualties: my car and my mailbox. The Lizzy Grubman twins suffered no physical injuries, thanks to the miracle of air bag technology, so we can all be glad that they'll live another day to fuck someone else over with their drug-addled antics.

Meanwhile, my liability-only car has been totalled, and I'll have to pick up all postal correspondence from the crack between my curb and my yard. GOD BLESS BATHTUB CRANK!!!

you had to wait for the doorbell to know someone had crashed into your mailbox? how far from your house is that mailbox anyway?!

this is fucked up, though. they were really 12? wow.

my thoughts exactly.

that sucks though. sorry to hear it.

I wanna party with those girls.

I had dozed off on the couch watching TV's Craig Ferguson, and my wife was pinching a loaf with the bathroom fan running, so neither one of us managed to hear the wreck.

can you get me their number?

They couldn't have been a day over 14, at most. These were young, young girls. That's probably as fucked up as I've ever seen anyone on TEH DRUG, though I admittedly have not run in such circles myself.

It was pretty much like the "Blue Boy" episode of Dragnet 1967, only without Jack Webb and Harry Morgan.

I'll ask their insurance agent, after they cut me a check. Until then, I'll just have to stick out my thumb, roll up my pant leg and avoid any vehicle sporting the "Gas, Grass or Ass" bumper sticker at all costs.

JESUS! I could actually feel my blood pressure rising while reading what happened, Bob. That fucking sucks.

Damn!
I'm glad that nobody was hurt.

And THEIR insurance should cover all the damage, including the car.

THIS WOMAN KNEW WHAT SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT!!!

HEED HER WORDS, KIDS!

Yeah, the silver lining in all this is that these girls weren't Lupita and Conchita out joyriding in their daddy's uninsured day laborer-hauling El Camino. Not only were THEY driving a Lexus, but their mother showed up on the scene in a Lexus, as well.

So, the good news is I should hopefully be compensated. The bad news is the Blue Book value for my '91 Honda is $4.73 and a half-eaten bag of Skittles.

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How about seventeen dollars... and a hell of a nice watch?

You know a lot of those dents will buff right out....

Which one is older?



That sucks, dude... I'm sure a 1 week ban on text messages will be enough to curtail such behavior from these future Condoleeza Rice's's's's.

That sucks. Similar thing happened here recently with my neighbors car, and some guy on a high speed chase that ended in front of my apt.

We should all chip in some money to get you a good massage after you deal with the insurance company.

Nice pics!

Ooooooh weee, I bet their Moms was PISSED.

Sorry to hear about the FTMobile. RIP.

Only if Dalen pitches in for a happy ending.

That's the WEIRD part! She was completely calm and matter-of-fact. Just totally non-plussed, like it's just par for the course with those wacky methhead kids of hers. I mean, she wasn't hysterical, she wasn't in shock, or anything. I was at least expecting Costanza's mom when she found him strangling little Georgie in her bathroom.

How do you know these kids were methed up?

Your car hardly looks totalled.

Or maybe the young girls could give you a "good" massage as part of their restitution.

They were too out of it to be on pot or coke, and did not demonstrate the type of drunkenness one typically shows when having consumed too much alcohol. It was a much methier haze they were in, and that shit is RAMPANT in the greater Dallas area these days.



Well, for one thing, that car is worth so little a friggin shopping cart dent to the door would probably be considered a total loss. But the worst damage is actually in the rear. I would have taken more pics, but my battery crapped out on me. They hit the car at an angle from the front, it spun around and took out the brick mailbox from the back, then was re-head-on'd after that.

But thanks for your qualified estimate, Earl Schieb.