Supplier dictates that the demander shut the hell up and enjoy what he gets.

I've missed Thanksgiving a few times but most of the males are off hunting somewhere in the great northwoods so 3/4 of the family is gone anyway. Christmas is the big thing in my family so for Phil and I that works out well (if you read his earlier post).

Big problem this year is we can really only afford to get up there once. Pick a holiday, seven hours apart, okay--pick a family, oh and if we're coming through Chicago there's a dozen people who want us to "drop" by. Remember those Stretch Armstrong dolls? That's what I feel like.

We will discuss financially feasible options and pick one we can BOTH be happy with. If the families aren't happy then that's just too bad, no one's offering to buy us airfare or to visit us here. I would be perfectly happy spending the holidays quietly at home with Phil and the dog and seeing our family at a less crazy time when airfare is cheap.

This is always really tricky but, in the grand scheme of things, not that important--they are just dates on the calendar. Unless your family lives in a dozen cities around the world and are just getting together for that one day you could always go home a different time and plan a get together. Holiday traditions are important but the best part is spending time with loved ones, which, hopefully, you can do on another day.

You just have to compromise, go on your own or clone yourself. If he/she is unwilling to yield it is, in my experience, a sign of worse drama to come. Relationships are give and take and when you are a giver with a taker, it sucks. I'm a giver so I would give up my holiday plans and pretty soon nothing of mine was a priority and all their functions, wants, and family plans were way more important. It got old really fast. It's all about respect for each other and being considerate.

All right it's settled, thanksgiving and christmas in austin. we're too tired to travel on our time off. and too poor.

maybe in august when it's ass hot here, and super nice, comparatively in chicago.

Well, before we got married we both said, hey we won't be able to spend time with our families at the holidays unemcumbered after we're married, so we'll just go our seperate ways. It worked out well, as I got to hang out with my friends/family at Tday and Xmas, while she did the same.

Now that we're married we're gonna try to do both families in one day for Tday (thank god they are within hours of each other), and lord knows what for xmas. Probably draw straws.

try to avoid my in laws at all cost. at all times.

We spent our first thanksgiving and christmas with just each other in Savannah. I made a turkey for both. We got a tree and out xmas presents to each other were lots of booze and sex. Since we've moved back, though, we've managed to split up for every xmas. We both come from pretty tight-knit families and both have had family members with health problems every xmas. Now I just go there for Thanksgiving and we both go home on xmas.