That is actually some pretty good advice.

like your wife even lets you say that word.

Which one? Advice?

it's pretty simple

beat the shit out of the other dude and fuck her best friend.

WHOA....YOU'RE BACK!!!!

Perhaps you should write some terrible poetry, submit it to poetry.com, then by the book they print it in.

my wife prefers the word cock, actually.

And with gusto!

I think he waits patiently for weeks at a time for the perfect chance.

She makes me say it.

You wanna go to those shows? OK, here's what you gotta do...

Don't just walk in to the club -- move across the room. And don't talk to her. Use your face, use your body, use everything. That's what I do. I mean, I just send out this vibe and I have personally found that women do respond. I mean, something happens. That's the attitude. The attitude dictates that you don't care whether she comes, stays, lays, or prays. I mean, whatever happens, your toes are still tappin'. Now when you got that, then you have the attitude.

This is an opportunity to be a big, healthy fella. First of all, if you are introduced to this guy, mispronounce his name.

She says, "Hey, Loserdork, this is Dave."

You say, "Great to meet you, Doug."

Don't try to be friends with this girl. That doesn't work and I assume that you are too young to be roped into that stupid game. Stallions must run - and run free.

Please make this your last post of the year. Just go out on top. Actually, never come back, you're obviously better off when you take breaks from this place.

Also great avatar.

That's from King of New York, right? I was struggling to remember.

you either

a) use this all the time

b) have patiently waited the twenty or so years to use it appropriately

ohhp.

i'll go... i'll go.. wit.. i'll go...

Now you know why I wen to the optometrist this afternoon.

Just wanted 'teh king of reading comprehension' to know that he too is fallible... every now and then.

I always find "One More Minute" by Weird Al cheers me up.

There once was an Obner named Chuck(e)D.
Who's now been divorc(e)D
Held his head up high
After "She'd" said bye-bye
And never looked back did he.

Sorry if this was a little too personal to make a limerick out of, but I think loserdork should learn a lesson from Mr. Colin's meal buying extravaganza post facto. That was a story/thread worth resurrecting just for the shear awesomeness of it.

Holy crap, this made me laugh.

After the breakup of my first major relationship, this plagued me. You'll get over it though. To me, its partially trying to let go of something you thought you had possession over, which of course you didn't. Bits and pieces will fade away as you go day to day. Its good to hear you have some friends who are willing to look after you. I cannot discount how good it is to have friends post-breakup.