Poetry-related: Now really...?

PopTodd · **Posted:** Tue Dec 05, 2006 4:45 pm

I know that this organization likes to suck in amateur poets, put their amateurish poems into a large volume and then sell them back their own work, but they are resorting to sending me:

YOU ARE IN EXCLUSIVE COMPANY!!!
YOU WILL BE IN THE "WHO'S WHO OF POETRY"!!!

YOU SHOULD BE GENUINELY PROUD!

All for submitting this poem to www.poetry.com on a whim:

Quote:

Potpourri

The first tickles of frost
The last wisps of summer
Hang together on the crisp early autumn breeze
With the heavy aroma of the leaves
Just ripening on the boughs
It all mingles together
On your skin
With your musk
And the trace scent of the shampoo you use every morning
Still lingering at 5 P.M.
Just before the onset of the ever-earlier twilight

It is time for hibernation

But autumn's scent
And yours
Awaken me

-Todd Leiter-Weintraub

Is that really anything more than a trifle or less than pure shite?
I take no offense as long as you know what the hell you are talking about.
Lord knows that I don't.

I just want an HONEST opinion before being sucked in my so much marketing hyperbole. They've been bombarding me with enough flattering emails that I'm almost starting to belive that I've written something pretty good.

I know that I can count on y'all for an unflinching, even brutal assessment.

Thanks.

no guru · **Posted:** Tue Dec 05, 2006 4:48 pm

It's evocative and warm, but certainly not like Bobby Frost level or nuthin'

All vanity pubs are the same though. Buy our book, in goes yr poim.

red · **Joined:** Fri Jun 17, 2005 5:34 am **Posts:** 5009

you should at least correctly spell "potpourri".

PopTodd · **Posted:** Tue Dec 05, 2006 4:57 pm

red Wrote:

you should at least correctly spell "potpourri".

It's actually submitted as "Untitled". I put that title in here on the fly (it's its true title) and didn't bother to check the spelling.

And although it is an Obner-only oopsie, you are correct. Thanks.

EDIT: fixed

The Mayor of Simpleton · **Posted:** Tue Dec 05, 2006 6:51 pm

I'm no connoisseur of poetry, Todd, so I can't really judge your work, but I'd be wary of anyone that uses that many exclamation points.

nobody · **Posted:** Tue Dec 05, 2006 7:02 pm

you write something and people want to pay you to read it...Good

you write something and people want you to pay for others to read it...Bad

pretty simple.

HaqDiesel · **Posted:** Tue Dec 05, 2006 7:09 pm

i'm pretty sure poetry.com in fact sends these e-mails to everyone who submits. ask them what they like about it.

Radcliffe · **Posted:** Tue Dec 05, 2006 7:24 pm

It's quite obviously a bold work of genius. I say pay them whatever they ask for and then settle back and wait for the sort of accolades, groupies, and cash that all poets receive to start rolling in.

fuse · **Posted:** Tue Dec 05, 2006 7:27 pm

This happens to my students all the time. And it's difficult to explain to them that the whole thing is a racket and that their poem about dead grandpa is pretty terrible

My journalism class just wrote a whole series of purposely awful poems that we are going to submit to test the lowest standards of this organization.

Kingfish · **Posted:** Tue Dec 05, 2006 7:29 pm

fuse Wrote:

This happens to my students all the time. And it's difficult to explain to them that the whole thing is a racket and that their poem about dead grandpa is pretty terrible

My journalism class just wrote a whole series of purposely awful poems that we are going to submit to test the lowest standards of this organization.

what he really meant

fuse Wrote:

your poem sucks and it's a scam..

rogneeb · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 1:07 pm **Posts:** 12618

poptodd has gone insane once more
i wonder what he's got in store?

dad's yummy chicken for his lunch?
or some Shrimpboat...i've got a hunch.

maybe a live album in the can?
a coffee-house show for his fan?

a lovely fall poem for the board?
a brinsley schwarz comp...oh my lord.

well we all know and love the todd
even though his mind is flawed

his heart is pure, his goal is true
even though i dont know what the fuck he is saying

harry · **Posted:** Tue Dec 05, 2006 7:51 pm

I like the 5:30 soap deal

keep writing

OPA! · **Posted:** Tue Dec 05, 2006 8:08 pm

I think it's a wonderful poem. In fact, it's too good to be a poem. It could be a new Hop On Pop song.

ayah · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 12:03 pm **Posts:** 6402

you are such a lesbian.

no guru · **Posted:** Tue Dec 05, 2006 10:13 pm

Todd,you need to write a few poems about the aesthetics of stacking firewood.

And maybe a few about your grandfather's pipe and whatnot.

Fix you up as a man of lettering in no time, see if it don't.

south pacific · **Posted:** Wed Dec 06, 2006 12:03 am

rparis74 Wrote:

poptodd has gone insane once more
i wonder what he's got in store?

dad's yummy chicken for his lunch?
or some Shrimpboat...i've got a hunch.

maybe a live album in the can?
a coffee-house show for his fan?

a lovely fall poem for the board?
a brinsley schwarz comp...oh my lord.

well we all know and love the todd
even though his mind is flawed

his heart is pure, his goal is true
even though i dont know what the fuck he is saying

Rodney you're such a douchebag for insulting PopTodd, he is more of man then you'll ever be.

:roll:

no guru · **Posted:** Wed Dec 06, 2006 12:05 am

Todd's a good dude, but Todd you do have a tendency to lift up your chainmail and go look, look here's a good place for the spear.

alongwaltz. · **Posted:** Wed Dec 06, 2006 1:35 am

I got accepted to this when I was fifteen or sixteen. Never did buy the book, though.

Buy it just to see if my poem's in there.

PopTodd · **Posted:** Wed Dec 06, 2006 10:13 am

St. Braes O'Baloolammy Wrote:

Todd's a good dude, but Todd you do have a tendency to lift up your chainmail and go look, look here's a good place for the spear.

without a doubt.
and it's interesting to see who strikes first.

good thing i have a lot of hit points.
although i think my charisma values are dropping by the day.

FT · **Posted:** Wed Dec 06, 2006 3:39 pm

The pointy birds
A-pointy-pointy
Anoint my head
A-nointy-nointy

billy g · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 1:41 pm **Posts:** 9020

poetry.com Wrote:

Dear Billy,

After carefully reading and discussing your poem, our Selection Committee has certified your poem as a semi-finalist in our International Open Poetry Contest. Your Poem will automatically be entered into the final competition held in January 2007. As a semi-finalist, you now have an excellent chance of winning one of 104 cash or gift prizes including the $1,000.00 Grand prize. You may even win the $10,000.00 Annual Grand Prize....

And that's not all... Billy...Imagine Your Poem Featured on a Page by Itself in a Beautiful Coffee-table Edition!....

Before going any further, Billy, let me make one thing clear...your poem was selected for publication, and as a contest semi-finalist, on the basis of your unique talent and artistic vision. In this regard, you are under no obligation whatsoever to submit an entry fee, any subsidy payment or to make a purchase of any kind. Of course, many people do wish to acquire a book that features their poetic artistry....

Here's my lovely poem for anyone interested. And todd, my attorneys have advised me that since my poem is now copyrighted, you will owe me royalties whenever you bake daddy's yummy chicken for your family.

np: Doris Monteiro "Mudando de Conversa"

billy g · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 1:41 pm **Posts:** 9020

oops...I guess they don't let you link to specific poems. Here it is:

Quote:

Daddy's Yummy Chicken

Whole chicken, bone-in, skin-on, cut into pieces
Season with salt, pepper, and thyme to taste
Crisp skin in skillet with olive oil, over high heat
Once skin is crispy, place chicken in large baking dish
with chopped onion, 2 bay leaves
In hot skillet, add 1-2 Tbsp. of minced garlic
Sauté until just starting to brown(maybe 10-20 seconds)
Add 2 cups of white wine to deglaze pan
Reduce liquid by 1/2, over medium-high heat
Pour wine andgarlic reduction over chicken
Add halved or quartered Yukon Gold potatos
And asparagus to the baking dish
Cover and bake at 350° for 35-45 minutes
Until potatos are done

BG Cummings

HaqDiesel · **Posted:** Thu Jan 11, 2007 3:38 pm

hahaha

PopTodd · **Posted:** Thu Jan 11, 2007 3:38 pm

Why dredge this back up?
Was it the Tom Zé post?

Or do you just feel like being an asshole to me?

Elvis Fu · **Posted:** Thu Jan 11, 2007 3:42 pm

billy g Wrote:

oops...I guess they don't let you link to specific poems. Here it is:

Quote:

Daddy's Yummy Chicken

Whole chicken, bone-in, skin-on, cut into pieces
Season with salt, pepper, and thyme to taste
Crisp skin in skillet with olive oil, over high heat
Once skin is crispy, place chicken in large baking dish
with chopped onion, 2 bay leaves
In hot skillet, add 1-2 Tbsp. of minced garlic
Sauté until just starting to brown(maybe 10-20 seconds)
Add 2 cups of white wine to deglaze pan
Reduce liquid by 1/2, over medium-high heat
Pour wine andgarlic reduction over chicken
Add halved or quartered Yukon Gold potatos
And asparagus to the baking dish
Cover and bake at 350° for 35-45 minutes
Until potatos are done

BG Cummings

Poetry-related: Now really...?

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