I was thinking about this the other day, and Sketch's topic got me to post it. Usually from live recordings, but some studio stuff too.

Some off the top:

NWA Straight Outta Compton
"You're now about to witness the strent of street knowledge"

MC5 Kick Out the Jams
"Brothers and sisters, its time now to, its time now to, KICK OUT THE JAMS WITH MC5!"

James Brown - "Doin' It To Death"
"Ladies and gentlemen, there are but seven acknowledged wonders of the world. You are about to witness the EIGHTH!"
"Standing in the spotlight, on showcase are twelve young men who have brought you such hits as 'The Grunt.'" (drumroll). 'Pass The Peas.'" (drumroll)
"Ladies and gentlemen, without no doubt... THESE are THE JB'S!!!"

"Hit it!"

This topic has been done before, but whatever.

Mine will always be Bill Graham introducing the individual members and then with a "Would you welcome please, the Grateful Dead" they kick into "Help On The Way" from One From The Vault

The "Good Evening" at the beginning of the Last Waltz (also Bill Graham) is good too.

"Dearly Beloved,
We are gathered here today,
to get through this thing called life..."


- probably just because of the superbowl, but still.

No.
That one IS one of the greatest. Good call.

The opening to OPERATION:MINDCRIME

page: "Dr. Davis, telephone please Dr. Davis, telephone please Dr. Blair, Dr. Blair, Dr. J. Hamilton, Dr. J. Hamilton" News Broadcast: "...the Soviets... In other news the bizarre murders of political and religious leaders that have shocked this city over the last month seemed to have ended as suddenly as they began. No terrorist groups ... responsibility for the slayings, but police have a suspect in custody under observation in a state hospital. His identity is being withheld pending further investigation. Sports and weather next..." Nurse: "It's ten minutes past curfew, why are you still up? Hello? Hello? Perhaps you need another shot. Ah, that should do it. Sweet Dreams, you bastard." Nikki: "I remember now, I remember how it started. I can't remember yesterday, I just remember doing what they told me..told me..told me..told me."

I kind of like the intro to violent femmes add it up
and dillinger four's midwestern songs

White Flag with Tescoo Vee do a spoken intro to their cover of Blue Oyster Cult's Hot Rail To Hell that goes somethin' like...

Well, the other day I rang up Satan and I said, "Bealzebub, baby, how's the hell fire? What's the good hate potentate?"

Always makes me laugh for some reason.


I also love the Butthols Surfer's intro off Locust Abortion Technicians before they tear into Sweat Leaf that goes...

Daddy, what does regret mean?
Well son, the funny thing about regret is,
It's better to regret something you have done,
Than to regret something you haven't done.
And by the way, if you see your mom this weekend,
Be sure and tell her

SATAN, SATAN, SATAN!!!

Great fucking call. The beginning of Pioughd with "I knew he would do something very odd, very odd, very odd" is great as well.

Soon I discovered that this rock thing was true
Jerry lee lewis was the devil
Jesus was an architect previous to his career as a prophet
All of a sudden, I found myself in love with the world
So there was only one thing that I could do
Was ding a ding dang my dang a long ling long

God told me to skin you alive.

Marilyn Manson 'Prelude' (first record)

"Prelude (The Family Trip)"

There's no earthly way of knowing
Which direction we are going
There's no knowing where we're going
Or which way the wind is blowing
Is it raining? Is it snowing?
Is a hurricane a-blowing?
Not a speck of light is showing
So the danger must be growing
Oh, the fires of hell are glowing
Is the grisly reaper mowing?
Yes! The danger must be growing (Faster! Faster!)
For the rowers keep on rowing (Faster! Faster!)
And they're certainly not showing (Faster! Faster!)
Any signs that they are slowing (Faster! Faster!)
Stop the boat.

oh shit.. that was such an awesome one

My wife's had this thing for like the last three weeks where she uses this phrase at least once a day.

Excellent selection.

civil war. nice

how about the Mudhoney track that takes some lines from Hell's Angels

"we want to be free..
we want to be free to- to do what we wanna do..
We want to be free to ride..
we want to be free to ride our machines without being hassled by the man..
And we wanna get loaded!.. (Yeah!)"

In ancient times, hundreds of years before the
Dawn of history
There lived a strange race of people...the druids
No one knows who they were, or what they were doing..
But their legacy remains..
Hewn into the living rock of Stonehenge..

"Woe to you, Oh Earth and Sea, for the Devil sends the
beast with wrath, because he knows the time is short...
Let him who hath understanding reckon the number of the
beast for it is a human number, its number is Six hundred and
sixty six."

Check out the introduction on the live version of "Bodhisattva" from the Steely Dan box set. A mere transcript would NOT do it justice. In fact, I just may have to upload that mofo. Stand by...

http://www.box.net/public/6s79zise8q

Sweet Jebus, how I wish video footage of this existed.

Also (not Steely Dan-related):

When problems overwhelm us and sadness smothers us, where do we find the will and the courage to continue? Well, the answer may come in the caring voice of a friend, a chance encounter with a book, or from a personal faith. For Janet, help came from her faith, but it also came from a squirrel. Shortly after her divorce, Janet lost her father. Then she lost her job. She had mounting money problems. But Janet not only survived, she worked her way out of despondency and now she says life is good again. How could this happen? She told me that late one autumn day, when she was at her lowest, she watched a squirrel storing up nuts for the winter, one at a time, and take them to the nest. And she thought, "If that squirrel could take care of himself with the harsh winter coming on, so can I." "Once I broke my problems into small pieces, I was able to carry them, just like those acorns, one at a time."

Be like the squirrel, girl, give it a whirl.

Oh, and for outros, who doesn't love...

Breathe deep the gathering gloom
Watchlights fade from every room
Bedsitter people look back and lament
Another days useless energies spent
Empassioned lovers wrestle as one
Lonely man cries for love and has none
New mother picks up and settles her son
Senior citizens wish they were young
Cold hearted orb that rules the night
Removes the colors from our sight
Red is gray and yellow white
But we decide which is right
And which is an illusion

My absolute favorite. One of my all time favorite bands was the NY Hardcore band Born Against. On the "Intro" Track on the cd compilation, "The Rebel Sound of Shit and Failure" frontman Sam McPheeters is heard introducing the band at a live show. He says, "hello shit..we're Born Against..so suck my fuckin' lizard", just the way he says it is great.

Another...am rep noise band Halo of Flies.."This ain't no heartfelt shit..this is Halo of Flies"