I know they're probably not fashionable with the trendy young folks who call themselves Obnerites, who almost certainly favour 'casual', but I always like it when I have a job that demands a shirt and tie.

One thing I like about a tie is just putting it on gives you a really big confidence boost first thing in the morning. Just by putting it on you've done something really complicated at 7.30a.m. Especially if you get the two strands the exact same length, first time. It's like "YEAH!!!! I can do anything now! Nothing can stop me!"

An other big plus for the tie, is it makes you look like you earn a lot more money than actually do. People naturally assume "Oh he's a tie wearer I beat he's making loads of money in the City" This is really important,
especially when you're on a crowded commuter train with foxy girls on it . Of course this aspect of tie wearing also has a down side in that you feel 25% extra guilty when you walk past homeless and tramps because, naturally they think the exact same thing. "Hey buddy! You've got a tie on, you tell me you can throw 20p my way? You plutocrat bastard!!"

Now I don't mind admitting I'm a fairly cowtowed, down-beaten character. Basically a pathetic loser low-life. As such, a tie is of enormous importance to me as it entitles me to actually act supercilious, confident and actually look down on others - especially to non-tie people. Like that time I bawled out the staff in Burger King for taking 20 minutes to get me a whopper. I would never have been able to get extra free fries with my meal without tie wareage.

Funnily enough, the manager in Burger King was wearing a tie, but his was a 'Company Tie and I had an 'I Picked This Myself Tie'. As everyone knows 'I Picked This Myself Ties' always have superiority over 'Company
Ties' because obviously if you've been trusted to select your own tie you're a much more important person.

At this stage in the evening I don't really have much more to say about ties, except that they are sort of the male equivalent of bras. Bafflingly expensive for no good reason. At least bras have lacy bits on them and straps and that sort of thing; there's some workmanship there. But a tie is basically just a strip of patterned material and yet they'll charge you £10 for one without a hint of shame. I suppose it's the prestige that I mentioned earlier rather that the actual object that you're buying.

I'll leave you with a what might charitably be described as an anecdote. Once when I worked in a bank, my friend Magic Alex, used to wear this old 1970's style tie with 'Archibald and McTaggart Plant Hire' on it. He
was poor and couldn't afford the expense of a new tie. I mention this because it really used to freak out the customers. They would see it and think "Shit, I almost certain I came into the Bank just then!"

If you read this far, thank you, and goodnight. I'm going to bed now.

Darrin

I wish I had a job that required a tie for work...you mentioned the sense of confidence a tie gives you, and this is so very true.

I read this as Konstantinl ties one on.

fp

The tie, though, is also more versatile than a brassiere. For instance, I have seen many cafe-workers -- women, largely... nay, only women, but my bar-cafe experience has not extended to gheyer venue -- wearing finely-tailored silk neck-ties as belts. Try that with a brassiere... Maybe if you scrunch it into a lacy snake, you can do it, but that basically destroys the integrity of the brassiere, and it can never be worn as either brassiere or belt again.

Similarly, it would be immensely harder to bind a lover with a brassiere than it is to do so with a tie.

Plus, bras have always been kind of ruint for me after seeing Madonna's dual-conic number. Not even the realization that such outlets as Viktor/Viktoria are now using mannequins with nippling to hock their wares has made me able to enjoy a brassiere as much as I did at eleven, in '92, staring longingly at Kathy Ireland in her pink-with-rhinestones bikini on the cover of SI's Swimsuit Issure.

Now, those tie-belted baristas... Ooh la la. Particularly the one whose pants either still hung a bit too low even with belt, or whose underwear (full-backed, but still erection-inducing for the way it hugged the buttocks) were pulled up a bit too high. Seeing her green-trimmed, white-with-floral-print underpants* on her hemispheric behind, even for only seeing about five-eighths of an inch of it, was a stairway to heaven (not yet climbed).

* Come to think of it, while I prefer a "booty-short", a nice, solid-colour, full-back piece, with polka-dot or other print, is what the sophomore wore on my greatest -- only good? -- moment of university night-life.

np: my tears, as I lament getting the date wrong for "Ska Is Dead" -- no bicurious skanks for me, I suppose -- dayyyyuuuuum

I hated dressing up for work but I gotta admit once work is over you wanna run as many errands as you can where hot chix might be cause you know you look smooth.

This I was on Thursday eve. Ran to the mall after work, and having run a few errands (getting my schedule at second job, oil changed at dealership from which I bought my car), and I thought I looked the shit. In reality, of course, I was mongerous as ever, checking out the bustier and corset rack at Hot Topic even though I have no reason to buy one.

i also enjoy wearing a tie, even sometimes when i don't really have to. that confidence that i exude is priceless. if it's a borderline situation where i might need a tie, i'm definitely wearing it. my parents have always had a good sense of fashion and i like to look good because they do. i think the tie helps me out there.

i pretty much dislike people who wear ties for belts, though. i just don't agree with it at as a multiple use accesory.

extension cords as belts on the other hand: pure class

Some miscellaneous tidbits about me and ties:

- I prefer the half-Windsor, but can, with some thinking and some trial-and-error, recreate the full Windsor. There's also a third one, that's even simpler than those two, but I keep tying the half-Windsor instead, so have decided that it's inferior.

- I remember a comedian saying this once: "I used to hate ties. Until I noticed where they were pointing."

- I like to wear flowery ties. This accomplishes several things -- false-trips peoples' gaydar; complements my manly good lucks (snark); allows me a flash of color in my otherwise mostly- or all-black wardrobe.

- I have been known to coordinate my hair-ties and neck-ties.

- I have been known to -- back in the 80's, mind you, when skinny ties were 'in' -- wear two different ties, one slightly larger than the other, to give them an 'outlining' effect. I was considered 'cool' back then. I have since been relegated to 'scary' guy, for the most part, the occasional woman with questionable taste in men notwithstanding.

- I have a love/hate relationship with ties. I do agree that I feel like I look an order of magnitude cooler wearing a tie, but I also agree that it reminds one of slavery (chain-around-the-neck imagery) and death (noose), which are both appropriate. I've also been known to tie mine too tight, and not notice until I loosened it at the end of the day, by which time, it's too late (headache has ensued; brain has been deprived of oxygen; damage has ensued; stupid mistakes have been made).

Even better: shall a fellow at the cinema whose belt buckled with a light-up scroll-bar, like you would see at a Grecian deli or custard-stand. I don't recall what message it propelled across itself, though.

As well, I remember, in high-school, the ravers and club-kids wore seat-belts for belts.

i dont ever really need to wear ties. im also not cool enough to get away with one of those tuxedo t shirts. where does that leave me? zoot suit baby!!! or if i was feeling sexy and like i slept through the past two decades, a leisure suit.

There definitely is something about a guy with a tie...

Yeah.

Also, glasses.

I NEVER have to wear a tie to work; (self employed bitches!!!) but I do enjoy rocking one when I go out, or when I have to rock a suit, etc.

Even better, Krylon a streak down your shirt front, over the buttoning. And, if the function at which you'll find yourself is boring the piss out of you, you can huff surreptiously.

I think we need to post pictures of the ugliest ties ever made...

I like wearing ties, and I usually enjoy wearing a full suit. Am even considering a fine gray pinstriped three piece as the next purchase. I have blue pinstripe, grey, blue, tan-poplin, and seersucker as it is. Those get me through, b/c at most I have to go a week straight wearing one, and have enough ties to complement.

One of these years I'll post some pics of ol Gar here at The Stones concert in 2002. My original idea was to go in character from the classic "periods" of the Stones. I actually did go, Aftermath/Between the Buttons-era: Grey suit, purple, embroidered paisley tie, zipper boots and green Gucci glasses. Bloor and Busty balked at Football pants and half-shirt Mick and Any-Era Bill Wyman, respectively.

I've never owned a full suit, but I'd like too one day, and will probably impulse buy one sometime soon...

And, yes, ties make you feel important, but I don't think that I could get away with wearing one every day. It would both drive me insane, and make other people think I'm crazy. As it is, I wear a collared shirt every day (even if it's just a polo), and sometimes people look at me wierd, or ask where I'm going after work...

Plus, the cost of a complete wardrobe makeover would be a killer...

I went to a school with a dress code for 13 years of my life, and spent 12 of those years wearing ties (clip-ons in the early stages). With such experience in this field i have come to this conclusion: ties blow!

they're uncomfortable, useless adornments, given meaningless and false importance by people i'd rather not be important to. they get in the way, can be outragously expensive, and make eating a hassle. It strikes me as funny that so many people, and society in general, associate respect and class with people who are essentially hanging themselves very very slowly. To spend that kind of money and time picking out an arbitrary piece of cloth is silly to me. i'd rather buy cd's or books, or things i care about, or that make me a better person, and not blow my money on a dead end, or on clothes that don't complement my personality at all.

I can understand the novelty at first, but after a while, it just sucks.

I have some fluorescent ones. One green/yellow, the other orange.

i wear a dress shirt and tie for work Monday-Thursday. the ladies love it.

High school: Jesuit. Ties in the dress code. No ladies. What's the point?

I took to wearing bow ties.
It was cool, because I felt like I was wearing a tie, while still giving the finger to the whole tie thing.

By the way Darrin, your post here was beautiful.
You could create a whole ROUTINE out of it. Or at least an episode of Seinfeld.