when i was maybe 10, i was in a mall parking garage with my mom, her friend, and my sister. i was totally afraid of elevators (claustrophobia that has since subsided) and wouldn't take them if it wasn't necessary, but my mother's rather lazy and insisted on them. she was going to go one or two flights up and i said, "i'll take the stairs." (they were right next to the elevator.) so i went upstairs and waited. and waited. and waited. i walked back down a few minutes later to see what was happening. they were gone. i was like, "ok... i'll just go back upstairs and wait."

well, i waited for a really long time. a cop drove by and asked, "are you james? your mom's looking for you." i went back downstairs where i found my mom's friend at the car. we walked into the mall and my mom was bawling on a bench. she saw me and it was like those reunions between families split up by the korean war. i asked why she hadn't just taken the elevator up to the floor where i'd been waiting for an hour. i have no idea what her response was.

haha... your mom's crazy.


When I was a nanny, the little kid I was watching disappeared at a park in a swanky downtown neighborhood. I was sitting on a bench and he was on the other side of the park playing. When it was time to go, I looked around for him and couldn't find him. For like, 20 minutes, I was running circles around this fucking park and still nothing. Just as I was about to leave to get a cop, the little shit jumped out of the bushes and said, "Did I scare you?" I shook him like some shaken baby syndrome kid and said, "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?" It was weird because I figured I would be more concerned with what the mother would say to me if her kid was abducted while I was watching him, but I was actually relieved that he was unharmed. I went home that night and cried like a baby. I guess I really did like the little guy. But I did keep his ass indoors - during the summer - for two weeks after that as punishment.

Jasmine Baldwin

Hell yeah. He narrates Planet Carnivore and I almost peed myself with excitement.

When I was around 5, I pushed open one of the fire alarm doors in a Zayre's and just stood there til someone came and found me. It was pretty funny.

Another time around 9 years old, I was wheeling my cousin around in a shopping cart in a supermarket flying up and down the aisles. I came out of this one aisle and took the turn too close and nailed the end display of glass ketchup bottles and they went all over the place. I fled the scene of the crime.

Are you from Chicago? It's Zayre. No 's'.

Who found you and what was the outcome?

When I was in 5th grade, I had to really go to the bathroom, no. 2. I walk out of the class, with the teacher's permission, and ran to the bathroom. Back then I had an issue with the stalls in the boys' room not having doors so I stood there debating whether I should go or not. Well, unfortunately, I stood there too long and I shit in my pants. Being embarrassed, I walked out of the building in the middle of the day and went home. I remember that walk home like it was yesterday. As I walked down the street, I could feel the shit rolling down my legs as I left a trail.

Anyway, I eventually got home, took a shower, changed, etc. and decided to watch daytime television. All of a sudden, the phone rings and it's the principal of my school. After realizing it was me, he started screaming at me, "What are you doing home, young man?". I responded, "I had a tummy ache."

I was suspended for a day.

awesome.

Back then, my mom was into As The World Turns when Meg Ryan and Marisa Tomei were on it.

I never knew either of them were on soaps at one time. interesting.

No doors on the boys stalls? I could probably understand that for preschool bathrooms, but 5th grade bathrooms?

Reminds me of the Eagle around here.... gay men's club, no doors on the unisex bathroom stalls. Awkward...

There were no doors in my high school boys' restrooms either. Ugh.

Chris, is that why you're gay? My super-Christian rightwing aunt says that all gay men are gay because they were molested as children. Usually by their father, sometimes by other men. I'll bet that by not properly shielding you while you were taking a crap as a child/teenager, your schools have contributed to you being gay.

Could be. But I would suggest to the Christian freaks that they resolve the boys' locker room / shower problem first.

In Maine it was "Zayrzes"

As in "gonna take and truck out town t' the Zair-zez"

it ain't just the kiddies who are missing these days...

http://www.kgw.com/news-local/stories/k ... 607f2.html

Search for deaf, disabled man turns into criminal probe

07:33 AM PDT on Friday, April 27, 2007

By kgw.com Staff

VANCOUVER, Wash. –- The search for a missing deaf and disabled man in Clark County is now turning into a criminal investigation, according to detectives.

Khoi Dang Vu, 25, was last seen at his house at about 1 a.m. on a Saturday, April 7th. The circumstances of his disappearance remain unknown.

"Had he just been a missing person with no foul play, we believe he would've been located by now or something would have turned up by this point in time," explained Sgt. Tim Bieber with the Clark County Sheriff's Office.

The Clark County Sheriff's Office has received over 100 tips, many involving possible sightings around Portland, but none resulted in a confirmed sighting.

Now, Bieber said police were investigating a few "persons of interest" in the case, but as of Friday morning, no one had been arrested.

Family leading detailed search effort

Members of the Clark County Sheriff's Office, the FBI, and Vu's family have also distributed missing person fliers for the past couple weeks, to no avail.

Anyone with information regarding Vu's disappearance was asked to call 911.

Vu has been deaf since birth, cannot speak and has the mental capacity of a 10-year-old, according to his family and police. He communicates by using American Sign Language, although his skills are very limited. He also communicates through writing and by using general hand signals.

Zayre, then.

I think my Mom found me. I probably got spanked.

update: the mother has had her other two kids, ages 5 and 1, taken away by DHHS.

Three different fathers. Father of the oldest has custody and has left the area. Father of missing kid has restraining order for threatening. Father of baby has been up on domestic abuse charges, which were settled out of court.

another problem:

Mother says girl disappeared out the backdoor while she was in the bathroom. However, girl would have had to go out a sliding glass door, down back steps, across a parking lot, up a 25 foot dike stepway and down the other side of the dike in order to fall into the river.

I'm not buying mom's story. Sorry, mom. Something else happened.