I decided that there should be some sort of new form of public assassination where tired-ass celebrities that i'm more than sick of get punched in the face. How the fuck is he still on magazine covers and profiled on MTV? It's a shame that pie thing got used up, but this way is inherently more American anyway. maybe a close-handed slap, i dunno. anyway, I've got a potential list of other targets:
-Gwen Stefani
-anybody who's made a living off of reality tv
-anybody on MTV except Kurt Loder
-Conor Oberst
-britney's little sister.
-the simple life double slap a la stooges
-Kurt Loder
-Liam Gallagher

this is probably set up, but did you change your mind or something?

nah he just has different reasons for deserving a nice slap across the fac. It would be gentler than the one reserved for, say, Gideon Yago or Lala though.

OH SHIT how could I forget about
-Will Smith

ashton kutcher needs to get slapped across the face with this.
[img][354:500]http://assall.de/movie-prop/horror_gen/hg_30.jpg[/img]

Y'all are wiggity whack.

Bill O'Reilly
Ann Coulter (can I claw her eyes out too?)
Katie Couric
Andy Rooney (or at the very least, shave his eyebrows off)

heh, this whole thread reminds me of an old Dennis Miller rant from the 80s about punching Mary Lou Retton in the face.... hey, on second thought, I think I'd like to punch Dennis too, since he's so smarmy and unfunny these days (as opposed to his smarmy and once-funny previous incarnation).

katie couric is such a SLUT! jesus, every morning with her it's all about youngs girls getting nasty too early. and dude, will smith would beat your ass. he played mohommad ali!

How dare you hate on Hutch. He'll Wild Wild West your ass back to the 1840's...

you know, I was watching that South Park last night where Cartman is playing "Wild Wild West" and cracking the fuck up every time he refewrs to his stuffed frog as "Artemis Clydefrog". Awesome.

and I think Pharrell has a better shot of beating me up than Will Smith. Unless of course, Jada is actually tiny enough to pick up and swing like a baseball bat. Then I might be in some trouble.

oh shit
-Ari Fleischer
-Dave Matthews, just for trying his hand at an acting career.

more additions:

John Mayer, hell, I'd like to see that huge melon of his get batted right off his body
Paula Deen (from Food Network)
Scott McClellan
Condi Rice

yeah she's starting to piss me off too, despite her restaurant having the best. brunch. ever.

pharrell would bitch slap your ass cotton.

then liam would break a bottle over your head and then spit on you.

pharrell is a skateboarder from richmond. suffice it to say i wouldn't sweat him too hard, dale.

Hitch?

Yes, Hitch. Sorry - got so excited at the mention of Will Smith I forgot how to type...

liam can barely hold a job, let alone stand up on his own two feet long enough to do anything but fall. I don't understand why people still stick up for this band when they haven't done a fucking thing worth listening to in just under a decade. I love that their new album is "the best in the world".

All the people I'd like to punch in the face are related to me or I work with.

Steve

I'd hold her if you did.

Oh don't worry. It happens frequently when I talk about Big Willy Styles myself.

I wanna add some quality slappin' for:

Regis Philbin
American Idol
Geraldo Rivera
Joan Rivers
Rosie O'Donnell

Line forms behind me.

I'd like to Donkey Punch Gwen Stefani.

Mandatory slapping for everyone involved.

Also TV execs for pretty much every network.

gwen stefani is annoying as hell but prbly the only marginally worthwile pop star right now. she's OK in my book.