NMR: strange pieces of conversation taken in at the workplace

FT · **Posted:** Mon Dec 03, 2007 7:25 pm

Cap'n Squirrgle Wrote:

man exiting conference room next to my office, looking at UGA sticker on my office window: "Georgia has a college? (chuckle, snicker, etc)"

squirrgle - "you know, you're close enough for me to hit with this coffee mug from here."

guy - "No, I'm just kidding. I just love picking onthe smaller schools."

squirrgle - "What school did you go to?"

guy - "Tulsa."

squirrgle - "...did that meeting in there serve alcohol just now?"

What the goalie caught:
"Do you even have an office to put your Tulsa sticker on?"
"Do they even make Tulsa stickers?"

I hope you gave this guy an asston of shit about Tulsa getting their asses handed to them by UCF in the Conference USA game the other day.

Cap'n Squirrgle · **Posted:** Mon Dec 03, 2007 8:55 pm

Way over my head Bob, unfortunately. I'm a pretty weak cfb fan. I watch GA games, and sometimes catch others.

But I will now.

red · **Joined:** Fri Jun 17, 2005 5:34 am **Posts:** 5009

While talking about transportation to an upcoming conference being held in a nearby suburb...

theatre of the absurd Wrote:

Me: "Well, at least the conference center's easy to get to."
Her: "As it is, I'm going to have to take the red line all the way downtown to the blue line to get out there." (which, by the way, is nuts and way out of the way)
Me: "What east-west street do you live by?"
Her: "Haha, you ask me that like I'm supposed to know."
Me: "You know... east-west. Like, what street nearest to you starts at the lake and heads west?"
Her: "I don't know these things!"
Me: "Really? I mean, just think of the lake. Like, Irving Park? Addison? Bryn Mawr? Those are east-west streets."
Her: "I'm just going to drive."

I'm not asking too much of this woman. Chicago has to be one of the easy cities to navigate by NSEW. Lake = east. Cubs = north. Sox = south. Hood = west. And, she lives in a neighborhood called Edgewater which is (you guessed it) not very far from the EDGE of the WATER. So she knows where the lake is.

Lrr · **Posted:** Wed Dec 05, 2007 3:06 pm

[Overheard]
whitetrashcubeneighbor#1 is talking to whitetrashcubeneighbor#2 about an audition for Let's Make A Deal.

#1: If I bring you and you get on, you have to give me some of the money.

Cotton · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 6:12 pm **Posts:** 17155

Lrr Wrote:

[Overheard]
whitetrashcubeneighbor#1 is talking to whitetrashcubeneighbor#2 about an audition for Let's Make A Deal.

#1: If I bring you and you get on, you have to give me some of the money.

the premise for that is far more interesting than the quote.

I didn't think that show had been on since like 1982.

catswilleatyou · **Posted:** Wed Dec 05, 2007 3:29 pm

Lrr Wrote:

[Overheard]
whitetrashcubeneighbor#1 is talking to whitetrashcubeneighbor#2 about an audition for Let's Make A Deal.

#1: If I bring you and you get on, you have to give me some of the money.

i'd be all like... f-that... im driving myself

Lrr · **Posted:** Wed Dec 05, 2007 5:18 pm

Apparently this "audition" is at a car dealership.

Dear Lord.

Cap'n Squirrgle · **Posted:** Wed Dec 05, 2007 5:19 pm

Lrr Wrote:

Apparently this "audition" is at a car dealership.

Dear Lord.

catswilleatyou · **Posted:** Wed Dec 05, 2007 5:41 pm

some guy from our national office is asking all the marketing guys in the affiliate offices how much we pay for our aerial shots of buildings and what type of image licenses we purchase...

i'm so tempted to tell them what my boss said about this
"Paying for that stuff is so gay, just do a print screen on google earth"

catswilleatyou · **Posted:** Wed Dec 05, 2007 6:08 pm

co-worker (to boss) "do you think that you could give your kid a name that would determine it's sexuality?"

boss: "yes, like vaughn... or gene"

Senator LooGAR · **Posted:** Wed Dec 05, 2007 6:13 pm

A guy here just told me that one of our Washington guys called the Governor of a certain state and threatened to piss in his ass if we didn'tget our contract signed by COB friday.

The thing is, I believe him.

Cap'n Squirrgle · **Posted:** Wed Dec 05, 2007 6:18 pm

Sen Jack T. Colton LooGAR Wrote:

A guy here just told me that one of our Washington guys called the Governor of a certain state and threatened to piss in his ass if we didn'tget our contract signed by COB friday.

The thing is, I believe him.

"I 'mon pee in yer butt"

?!!?!!

Lrr · **Posted:** Wed Dec 05, 2007 7:03 pm

catswilleatyou Wrote:

co-worker (to boss) "do you think that you could give your kid a name that would determine it's sexuality?"

boss: "yes, like vaughn... or gene"

"And you took all the manly names, like Lance and Bruce."

Cotton · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 6:12 pm **Posts:** 17155

Lrr Wrote:

catswilleatyou Wrote:

co-worker (to boss) "do you think that you could give your kid a name that would determine it's sexuality?"

boss: "yes, like vaughn... or gene"

"And you took all the manly names, like Lance and Bruce."

and Troy

catswilleatyou · **Posted:** Tue Dec 11, 2007 4:28 pm

boss: "we should build an office for an HR department and then just have chairs and a stripper pole in there"

FT · **Posted:** Tue Dec 11, 2007 4:43 pm

catswilleatyou Wrote:

boss: "we should build an office for an HR department and then just have chairs and a stripper pole in there"

If your boss isn't Michael Scott, he must be a very, very close relative or at least some sort of deranged protege.

catswilleatyou · **Posted:** Tue Dec 11, 2007 4:48 pm

FT Wrote:

catswilleatyou Wrote:

boss: "we should build an office for an HR department and then just have chairs and a stripper pole in there"

If your boss isn't Michael Scott, he must be a very, very close relative or at least some sort of deranged protege.

the only difference is that my boss gets some work done
but
he's well aware of how similar he is to micheal scott... and for some reason he's very proud of it

FT · **Posted:** Tue Dec 11, 2007 4:53 pm

catswilleatyou Wrote:

FT Wrote:

catswilleatyou Wrote:

boss: "we should build an office for an HR department and then just have chairs and a stripper pole in there"

If your boss isn't Michael Scott, he must be a very, very close relative or at least some sort of deranged protege.

the only difference is that my boss gets some work done
but
he's well aware of how similar he is to micheal scott... and for some reason he's very proud of it

I hope you're his Jim and not his Dwight.

catswilleatyou · **Posted:** Tue Dec 11, 2007 4:57 pm

I'm no dwight... no jim either

maybe ryan the temp

catswilleatyou · **Posted:** Tue Dec 11, 2007 4:59 pm

maybe im pam because i try to get them to come to my art shows

FT · **Posted:** Tue Dec 11, 2007 5:05 pm

catswilleatyou Wrote:

maybe im pam because i try to get them to come to my art shows

Yeah, that's a good call. Plus, based on those topless pics you've posted, you've got a nice rack.

Cotton · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 6:12 pm **Posts:** 17155

I think I'm going to try to go my entire day tomorrow using Captain Murphy dialogue from Sealab 2021.

starting with:

Quote:

"How do you like me now, Chinstrap??"

and

Quote:

That chill, my young non-friend, is probably the cold breath of the reaper breathing down your neck.

Senator LooGAR · **Posted:** Tue Dec 11, 2007 6:22 pm

We are building out the second half of our office building, and it has become the new meeting place -- walk around an imagine what the offices will look like and strategerize.

The last convo I was just part of went something like:
"He's gotta go"
"Well, he goes to church with us"
"Yeah, he shoulda prayed for better work ethic"

Aural Fixation · **Posted:** Tue Dec 11, 2007 6:49 pm

"Hey, Tania, looks like you'll be getting your own office."
"Uh yeah, right...I'll believe it when I'm actually sitting in my own office."
"Oh, they changed their minds...offices are going to someone else."
"Told you."
"Guess what? You're getting a window office!"
"And when will this happen?"
"Soon...this week, I believe."
"Really? Let's make bets as to when it happens and IF it happens."
"Well, at least you're getting a new cellphone!"

Whoopee!

catswilleatyou · **Posted:** Fri Dec 14, 2007 3:54 pm

they hired some new guy here

he's a little overweight and has glasses

so we're going through the process of nicknaming him and harassing him
(my boss thinks this is what makes people feel at home)

they sent out an all staff email about the hire...
and included a picture of drew carey ...
there's absolutely nothing about his appearance that makes him look like drew carey... the glasses he wears aren't even close

it's so incredibly stupid and unfunny

NMR: strange pieces of conversation taken in at the workplace

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