NMR: strange pieces of conversation taken in at the workplace

Cotton · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 6:12 pm **Posts:** 17155

I think I hate your boss.

Aural Fixation · **Posted:** Fri Dec 14, 2007 4:32 pm

catswilleatyou Wrote:

they hired some new guy here

he's a little overweight and has glasses

so we're going through the process of nicknaming him and harassing him
(my boss thinks this is what makes people feel at home)

they sent out an all staff email about the hire...
and included a picture of drew carey ...
there's absolutely nothing about his appearance that makes him look like drew carey... the glasses he wears aren't even close

it's so incredibly stupid and unfunny

It amazes me that no one has ever sued your boss or complained about the company's lack of HR ethics. Are you sure you don't work at the Post Office with Shiv?

catswilleatyou · **Posted:** Fri Dec 14, 2007 4:51 pm

i really don't know who to complain to ... without an HR person... its kind of whoever gets on the elevator with me

and obner

Aural Fixation · **Posted:** Fri Dec 14, 2007 4:55 pm

Department of Labor -- need their number?

rogneeb · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 1:07 pm **Posts:** 12618

need an employment lawyer?

catswilleatyou · **Posted:** Fri Dec 14, 2007 5:22 pm

im not that offended by it... its more strange and stupid...

catswilleatyou · **Posted:** Fri Dec 14, 2007 5:41 pm

also

i just gained a freelance client... and if one of my several other small opportunities works out over the next couple weeks.. ill be a free man

free to design in my underwear anyways

catswilleatyou · **Posted:** Wed Dec 19, 2007 7:14 pm

Guy at work...
boss's #2
"Pregnant chicks are perfect ... I don't know why I even have to explain it to anyone ... you can't buy that kind of birth control."

Cap'n Squirrgle · **Posted:** Wed Dec 19, 2007 10:01 pm

Jesus man. Somebody's gonna take these guys to the cleaners.

Cotton · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 6:12 pm **Posts:** 17155

Kyle is willing to wear a pregnant suit and infiltrate your workplace.

Cap'n Squirrgle · **Posted:** Wed Dec 19, 2007 10:29 pm

I ought not need to. Don't they have ... women or something... where you work Cats?

catswilleatyou · **Posted:** Thu Dec 20, 2007 1:24 am

Cap'n Squirrgle Wrote:

I ought not need to. Don't they have ... women or something... where you work Cats?

there are four of those here
two are elderly and count all day (or something that could be handled by software)
one we keep hidden on a completely different side of the building
the fourth one is the kind of "woman" that probably wants you to look at her tah-tahs

but i would say 98% of the time there's only men here

Cap'n Squirrgle · **Posted:** Thu Dec 20, 2007 1:34 am

christwillfulfillscriptu Wrote:

Cap'n Squirrgle Wrote:

I ought not need to. Don't they have ... women or something... where you work Cats?

there are four of those here
two are elderly and count all day (or something that could be handled by software)
one we keep hidden on a completely different side of the building
the fourth one is the kind of "woman" that probably wants you to look at her tah-tahs

but i would say 98% of the time there's only men here

sounds like everything's in order, then.

FT · **Posted:** Thu Dec 20, 2007 12:13 pm

What you need to do, Matt, is get shecats hired without your boss or co-workers knowing who she is in relationship to you, and have her sue your boss's ass off as soon as he makes with the sexually harassing commentary (should be within her first hour on the job). To keep this from drawing out too long, have her accept the company's offer of a six-figure out of court settlement and build the greatest shed there ever was!

catswilleatyou · **Posted:** Thu Dec 20, 2007 12:51 pm

there's no way i'm ever going to let her meet these guys

Senator LooGAR · **Posted:** Thu Jan 17, 2008 7:10 pm

So, a dude here this week said "The only mistake I made before I took that time off was smoking coke at the office!"

MontyTheMongoose · **Posted:** Fri Jan 18, 2008 12:10 am

Sen. Dong Montana LooGAR Wrote:

So, a dude here this week said "The only mistake I made before I took that time off was smoking coke at the office!"

LooGAR +/- 5 years.

FT · **Posted:** Fri Jan 18, 2008 6:03 pm

St Valentine Stache Ride Wrote:

Sen. Dong Montana LooGAR Wrote:

So, a dude here this week said "The only mistake I made before I took that time off was smoking coke at the office!"

LooGAR +/- 5 minutes.

red · **Joined:** Fri Jun 17, 2005 5:34 am **Posts:** 5009

HR Director: "Oh my god, how did you get such a cute baby?! Without tattoos!"

New dad (psychobilly band singer, covered in tattoos, positively the sweetest guy on the planet): "hehe... uh, I guess I don't know."

HR Director: "I mean, he doesn't even have birthmarks that look like tattoos! He might be the most beautiful baby I've ever seen... except for the [couldn't hear this part]."

New dad: "Yeah, yeah, he's cute...."

What the fuck? This is the same woman who offered me chocolate last week when I broke down in that stupid meeting.

mutty · **Posted:** Wed Feb 20, 2008 1:21 pm

he should rename his psychobilly band The Hereditary tats

Dusty Chalk · **Posted:** Wed Feb 20, 2008 8:44 pm

red Wrote:

HR Director: "Oh my god, how did you get such a cute baby?! Without tattoos!"

New dad (psychobilly band singer, covered in tattoos, positively the sweetest guy on the planet): "hehe... uh, I guess I don't know."

HR Director: "I mean, he doesn't even have birthmarks that look like tattoos! He might be the most beautiful baby I've ever seen... except for the [couldn't hear this part]."

New dad: "Yeah, yeah, he's cute...."

What the fuck? This is the same woman who offered me chocolate last week when I broke down in that stupid meeting.

You need to get her a T-shirt that says, "Oh, did I say that out loud?"

catswilleatyou · **Posted:** Thu Feb 21, 2008 2:17 pm

a dude here has been whistling "fight song" for 5 minutes now
he's not saying the "hey" though

Cap'n Squirrgle · **Posted:** Thu Feb 21, 2008 2:25 pm

pull the fire alarm. That'll break up his routine.

catswilleatyou · **Posted:** Thu Feb 21, 2008 2:27 pm

Cap'n Squirrgle Wrote:

pull the fire alarm. That'll break up his routine.

you're like a mind reader
i was considering this earlier this week
i just want to see if anyone would even leave the building

catswilleatyou · **Posted:** Thu Feb 21, 2008 6:28 pm

oh man
my boss just forwarded me an email
where this girl has a tattoo of abe lincoln on her lower belly... and his beard becomes her pubic hair

then he tells me i look like abe lincoln

NMR: strange pieces of conversation taken in at the workplace

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