NMR: strange pieces of conversation taken in at the workplace

Timis · **Posted:** Wed Mar 19, 2008 4:34 pm

catswilleatyou Wrote:

seven of us, including my boss, piled into the minivan to go get fish and bloody marys for lunch...
on the way there we listened to that tim armstrong cd
on the way back my boss says "don't play any black music this time"
i thought he was kidding
so i put on re-up gang "cry now"
about 20 seconds later... "seriously if i have to fuckin listen to this shit im going to throw up in your van"

dude, i love your stories....

Lrr · **Posted:** Fri Mar 21, 2008 12:50 pm

Today's overheard personal phone calls in a not-so-personal environment.

whitetrashcubeneighbor excerpts:
--I'd email him if it wasn't for my job...If I threaten anybody...
--I'd like to kill him.
--If I wasn't working here, I'd probably be out in the parking lot waiting for him.

catswilleatyou · **Posted:** Fri Mar 21, 2008 1:03 pm

i want to meet whitetrashcubeneighbor

red · **Joined:** Fri Jun 17, 2005 5:34 am **Posts:** 5009

K: "You know they're sorority girls."

J: "Yeah, whorority girls."

K: "Sorostitutes."

J: "Soes. There's some soes in this house. There's some soes in this house."

K: "Pimps up, soes down."

(laughter)

K: "Where are the interns anyway?"

catswilleatyou · **Posted:** Fri Mar 21, 2008 1:11 pm

im getting too comfortable with the inappropriate workplace
...
it's wearing off on me

yesterday
we piled into
my van again

i rolled
down my window
and
told everyone
"please excuse the dead hooker smell... i've tried everything"...

laughter all around
except
for the
75 year old dude
riding shot gun...

i forget that
i need to watch
it around him

he's so old
you kind of forget he's there

i feel great shame

catswilleatyou · **Posted:** Fri Mar 21, 2008 1:11 pm

sorostitutes...lol

Z · **Joined:** Sat Oct 23, 2004 1:38 pm **Posts:** 7979

catswilleatyou Wrote:

im getting too comfortable with the inappropriate workplace
...
it's wearing off on me

yesterday
we piled into
my van again

i rolled
down my window
and
told everyone
"please excuse the dead hooker smell... i've tried everything"...

laughter all around
except
for the
75 year old dude
riding shot gun...

i forget that
i need to watch
it around him

he's so old
you kind of forget he's there

i feel great shame

i had a similar incident the other day. someone was talking about how his girlfriend asks questions like "if i were missing an arm, would you still be dating me?" or "if i lost an eye, would you still like me?" and a few people chimed in with their boring responses before i made a comment about having an amputee fetish. the four people i was conversing with laughed. i looked around and the other, like, 10 people nearby looked horrified.

Dusty Chalk · **Posted:** Fri Mar 21, 2008 5:01 pm

catswilleatyou Wrote:

im getting too comfortable with the inappropriate workplace
...
it's wearing off on me

yesterday
we piled into
my van again

i rolled
down my window
and
told everyone
"please excuse the dead hooker smell... i've tried everything"...

laughter all around
except
for the
75 year old dude
riding shot gun...

i forget that
i need to watch
it around him

he's so old
you kind of forget he's there

i feel great shame

This needs to be done as a spoken word piece with musical accompaniment.

catswilleatyou · **Posted:** Tue Mar 25, 2008 12:50 pm

i got asked to
make an
old marketing piece
into an emailable pdf

sometimes it's a small pain
because it was designed for 17 x 11
and not 8.5 x 11
and
some elements are on the edge

i get this type of request 5 times a day

then i discovered
that i already had done
this particular piece

so i sent it off
...
i said "i don't remember doing this but apparently i did. Nice!"

response

"TOO MUCH WEED!! NICE JOB THANKS!"

Cap'n Squirrgle · **Posted:** Tue Mar 25, 2008 1:51 pm

haaaaaaa ha ha ha

Oh and the wife regularly uses "sorostitutes."

Kerre Li (xix) · **Posted:** Tue Mar 25, 2008 2:14 pm

Cap'n Squirrgle Wrote:

haaaaaaa ha ha ha

Oh and the wife regularly uses "sorostitutes."

the first time I saw that was from Tom Wolfe's "I am Charlotte Simmons"

catswilleatyou · **Posted:** Wed Mar 26, 2008 5:08 pm

the one
other liberal
that i work with

has a flier
for an
anti-war protest
in his cube

today
my boss
thought that my time
would be
better spent
making this

http://www.catswilleatyou.com/expanse/u ... toiran.jpg
it looks exactly like his "US Out Of IRAQ" flier

i feel kind of dirty about it
because he's semi serious
but
not gonna lie

kind of funny

shiv · **Posted:** Wed Mar 26, 2008 9:20 pm

hahaha

mutty · **Posted:** Wed Mar 26, 2008 10:22 pm

You should paste those all over and see how many dickweeds actually show up

FT · **Posted:** Thu Mar 27, 2008 4:29 pm

catswilleatyou Wrote:

http://www.catswilleatyou.com/expanse/uploads/1206561948_intoiran.jpg

"dontbegaywarisgood.com" = H.I. Larious

I know that line of humor's not harry's bag, but when used moderately and in such a silly context, it's absolute gold, Jerry, GOLD!

Dusty Chalk · **Posted:** Thu Mar 27, 2008 4:39 pm

Half a phone conversation:

"...uh-huh...uh-huh...okay...yeah...so the toilet is not in the bathtub?...uh-huh...yeah...okay...uh-huh..."

Lrr · **Posted:** Wed Apr 02, 2008 4:21 pm

whitetrashcubeneighbor1: Are those those gold fillings you got from your dad?
whitetrashcubeneighbor2: Yes
whitetrashcubeneighbor1: What are they doing here?
whitetrashcubeneighbor2: Safer than at home

catswilleatyou · **Posted:** Wed Apr 02, 2008 4:23 pm

Lrr Wrote:

whitetrashcubeneighbor1: Are those those gold fillings you got from your dad?
whitetrashcubeneighbor2: Yes
whitetrashcubeneighbor1: What are they doing here?
whitetrashcubeneighbor2: Safer than at home

holy shit

Cap'n Squirrgle · **Posted:** Wed Apr 02, 2008 4:31 pm

nice.

The Obgoblin · **Posted:** Wed Apr 02, 2008 11:47 pm

I could see gold fronts..But fillings. That is some whitetrash shit.

Gordo · **Posted:** Thu Apr 03, 2008 12:07 am

My department's asst. is this cute Russian girl...real tough, though. And probably has the connections to get us all killed. So one of her recent conversations went like:

"Muthafuckin' bitch came up to us at the club & started takin' swigs from our bottle. Tol' her to get the fuck out the way or I'd take her out back. Then she had the fuckin' nerve to say how cute my man was, so I had to slap the bitch."

What she didn't realize was that our brand new GM had come in and sat at a desk which was separated from hers by a cubicle wall. About 5 of us IM'ed her at the same time, but I'm sure he heard more than he wanted to.

MontyTheMongoose · **Posted:** Thu Apr 03, 2008 9:13 am

See first paragraph to know why GM cannot fire her, even if he wants to.

catswilleatyou · **Posted:** Thu Apr 03, 2008 10:48 am

Gordo Wrote:

My department's asst. is this cute Russian girl...real tough, though. And probably has the connections to get us all killed. So one of her recent conversations went like:

"Muthafuckin' bitch came up to us at the club & started takin' swigs from our bottle. Tol' her to get the fuck out the way or I'd take her out back. Then she had the fuckin' nerve to say how cute my man was, so I had to slap the bitch."

What she didn't realize was that our brand new GM had come in and sat at a desk which was separated from hers by a cubicle wall. About 5 of us IM'ed her at the same time, but I'm sure he heard more than he wanted to.

i've yet to meet a russian that wasn't super crazy

Dusty Chalk · **Posted:** Thu Apr 03, 2008 5:41 pm

catswilleatyou Wrote:

i've yet to meet a russian that wasn't super crazy

Me neither.

<-- Russo-American. Grew up heavily involved with Russo-American community, has lots of Russian and Russo-American friends.

f4df · **Posted:** Fri Apr 04, 2008 9:47 am

g1: How are you doin' old fella?
g2: What the f*&k am I, a horse?

NMR: strange pieces of conversation taken in at the workplace

Who is online