Tales from the bus

Cap'n Squirrgle · **Posted:** Wed May 14, 2008 5:56 pm

Busty Rhodes Wrote:

This reminds me of another guy I know that simply cannot see a pair of cans without FREAKING THE FUCK OUT. Like he's never laid eyes on them before.

Who dis?

edit: and it's at Foley's.

Postmersh · **Posted:** Wed May 14, 2008 5:57 pm

XIX Wrote:

what bar is this at?
it never ceases to amaze me how easily turned on guys are!

Then prepare yourself for a lifetime of amazement..

Cap'n Squirrgle · **Posted:** Wed May 14, 2008 5:59 pm

Postmersh Wrote:

XIX Wrote:

what bar is this at?
it never ceases to amaze me how easily turned on guys are!

Then prepare yourself for a lifetime of amazement..

Yeah, who knew bending your A+ backside over at a 90 degree angle for half an hour in front of guys at a bar would turn them on...

Busty Rhodes · **Posted:** Wed May 14, 2008 6:03 pm

Cap'n Squirrgle Wrote:

Busty Rhodes Wrote:

This reminds me of another guy I know that simply cannot see a pair of cans without FREAKING THE FUCK OUT. Like he's never laid eyes on them before.

Who dis?

edit: and it's at Foley's.

Hulty

Cap'n Squirrgle · **Posted:** Wed May 14, 2008 6:05 pm

....oh yeah. But he's only doing that to drown out the cries of the showtune singing, tiger-training, sequin-adorned voices in his head.

FT · **Posted:** Wed May 14, 2008 6:36 pm

This has supplanted Radcliffe's Scientology excerpts as Obner's best recurring thread. Well done, Kyle.

Rads' position has been usurped. USURPED!

catswilleatyou · **Posted:** Wed May 14, 2008 7:00 pm

Cap'n Squirrgle Wrote:

Postmersh Wrote:

XIX Wrote:

what bar is this at?
it never ceases to amaze me how easily turned on guys are!

Then prepare yourself for a lifetime of amazement..

Yeah, who knew bending your A+ backside over at a 90 degree angle for half an hour in front of guys at a bar would turn them on...

Who knew that just reading that would turn me on

Cap'n Squirrgle · **Posted:** Wed May 14, 2008 8:29 pm

(raises hand)

neuroboy · **Posted:** Thu May 15, 2008 1:20 am

got off the bus today and at the end of our street there were no fewer than a dozen cops, 6 cruisers, 3 bikes, three plainclothes cops, and a patty wagon blocking the outlet to the main road. one ratty, homeless-looking guy was on his back lying handcuffed in the middle of the street with one shoe off and one on.

this is the best picture i could get (what, with the half dozen cops standing around the guy). i asked one of them what was going on and he told me the guy stole a lady's purse. . .

. . . boston's finest putting their manpower to good use while the park around the corner has rampant drug use/sales.

Aural Fixation · **Posted:** Thu May 15, 2008 1:36 am

Sorry, but the shape of the girl's ass and the way her pants sit on her hips don't indicate that she was showing anything. Was she showing just thong fabric or actual ass crack? Cuz if she was showing crack, she must have the highest separation of ass cheeks of any woman out there.

shiv · **Posted:** Thu May 15, 2008 1:40 am

tania, studying dat azz.

Aural Fixation · **Posted:** Thu May 15, 2008 2:14 am

Didn't you know we women do that?

neuroboy · **Posted:** Thu May 15, 2008 9:18 am

two guns holla Wrote:

My friend in Atlanta showed me this yesterday. Live from MARTA...I present to you Soulja Girl (whose mom is now saying that she is bipolar). She later got arrested because of the youtube vid.

the precursor. bitch u ride the marta bus

Cupcakes · **Joined:** Sat Nov 12, 2005 12:04 am **Posts:** 3271

I'm lovin' it.

Cap'n Squirrgle · **Posted:** Tue May 20, 2008 12:57 pm

Tales from the Airport
or, It Never Rains Butt It Pours

Ladies, we're all fans of the low-rise jeans in principle. But have a fucking care for chrissake.

These two sat down by me at the Charlotte airport, Saturday, and subjected me to a Force 5 Plumbercrack storm that lasted the better part of 30 minutes.

Even just sitting there, looking down and reading, I knew that gaping maw was 5 feet away, staring at the side of my head, silently imploring me to try and get a peanut into it from here. I think I read the same National Geographic paragraph 3 times before I finally got up and moved.

I swear I'm not seeking this shit out.

Hegel · **Posted:** Tue May 20, 2008 1:11 pm

hahahahaha

discostu · **Posted:** Tue May 20, 2008 1:15 pm

You should have swiped a credit card down that crack.

paper · **Posted:** Tue May 20, 2008 1:17 pm

Cap'n Squirrgle Wrote:

Force 5 Plumbercrack storm .

LOL

Prince of Darkness · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 11:41 am **Posts:** 11048

You need a squirt gun. Just keep one on hand, you know you're gonna be glad you did.

Cap'n Squirrgle · **Posted:** Tue May 20, 2008 1:23 pm

Is there a nice way to tell her that her asscrack is winking at half of Charlotte?

and

How do you not feel the breeze back there?

Senator LooGAR · **Posted:** Tue May 20, 2008 1:25 pm

Cap'n Squirrgle Wrote:

Is there a nice way to tell her that her asscrack is winking at half of Charlotte?

and

How do you not feel the breeze back there?

Stand behind her with a 3/4 chubby and giggle like Beavis?

Lrr · **Posted:** Tue May 20, 2008 2:00 pm

A while ago when it was raining, I saw a not-so-fit woman in low rises that were such a poor fit she was literally holding them up as she ran into Target.

Modem · **Posted:** Tue May 20, 2008 2:01 pm

HaqDiesel Wrote:

I was recently on the A train (the bus of MTA trains), reading a book and ignoring the usual background noise, when a repeated phrase broke my reverie:

AYE AYE. AYE AYE. AYE AYE.

I look up to see a large man with an obvious mental deficiency wearing a tracksuit and an airbrushed, tiger-striped, button-up shirt with a HUGE TIGER FACE on it. He was standing right next to me, staring into the void, and saying over and over again, "AYE AYE." As we neared the next station, his mariner's acknowledgment became more insistent: "AYEAYEAYEAYEAYEAYEAYEAYEAYEAYE."

Then the train stopped, and so did he. The doors opened and closed, and the train started again.

SHIP'S AHOY. SHIP'S AHOY.
SHIP'S AHOYSHIP'S AHOYSHIP'S AHOYSHIP'S AHOY

All the way to the next stop, at which point his mantra became "SHIP'S AHOY, MATE" and I had to get off. Aye aye, you giant retard. Aye. Aye.

Did he look like this?

Cap'n Squirrgle · **Posted:** Tue May 20, 2008 2:09 pm

Lrr Wrote:

A while ago when it was raining, I saw a not-so-fit woman in low rises that were such a poor fit she was literally holding them up as she ran into Target.

That must've been a spectacular set of parintheses (aka muffin top).

neuroboy · **Posted:** Tue May 20, 2008 6:09 pm

well, i had a reverse-bus experience on the way to work. . . i was on the bus and there was drag queen at the bus stop on the opposite side of the street having a conversation and dancing with what i can only imagine was his invisible lover.

Tales from the bus

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