Favorite Simpsons Quote Ever

Lambchop · **Posted:** Tue Mar 01, 2005 8:43 pm

I like the McBain character too...

"Leave a message after the beep. But don't be a message monster hogging all my tape!"

iron_and_beer · **Posted:** Tue Mar 01, 2005 9:14 pm

FT Wrote:

Iron_and_Beer Wrote:

Waiter to Selma: Please don't smoke in our restaurant. We don't serve contemporary California cuisine in your lungs.

In the episode where she marries Troy McClure and he takes her to dinner at "Ugli," she lights up a cigarette and an adjacent diner says, "Excuse me...I ordered a Zima, not emphysema!"

Same episode. Both are great quotes.

iron_and_beer · **Posted:** Tue Mar 01, 2005 9:22 pm

jewels santana Wrote:

"everything is comoing up Millhouse"

I love this one. It cracks me up every time I see it.

FT · **Posted:** Wed Mar 02, 2005 11:12 am

Ted Hitler Wrote:

Mexican Milhouse

Casa de Mil?

Lambchop · **Posted:** Wed Mar 02, 2005 11:26 am

"Poppin' Fresh! Why I owe my robust physique to your tubes of triple-bleached goo."

Jerk. · **Posted:** Wed Mar 02, 2005 11:28 am

and a new donkey to anyone who brings me the head of colonel montoya!

Evil Dr. K · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 11:51 am **Posts:** 6327

Chief Wiggum - "Frankly I would have expected better from Jimmy The Scumbag."

paper · **Posted:** Wed Mar 02, 2005 3:18 pm

Freddy Quimby - "That's Chowda, Chowda....I'll kill you, I'll kill all of you! especially those of you in the jury!"

wenchlette · **Posted:** Wed Mar 02, 2005 9:01 pm

After the crowd at the baseball stadium threw Marge's pretzels onto the field

Bart: Cheer up, Mom. You can't buy publicity like that. Thousands and thousands of people saw your pretzels injuring Whitey Ford!
Homer: You could call them Whitey-Whackers.

Odds Bodkins · **Posted:** Wed Mar 02, 2005 9:21 pm

Skinner's pager: The refrigerator is too loud - Mother

posthumus · **Joined:** Tue Oct 26, 2004 2:17 am **Posts:** 589

Mr. Burns "I'm looking for a Mr. Smithers, first name Wayland"

Moe: Oh, so, you're looking for a Mr. Smithers, eh? First name Wayland, is it? Listen to me, you; when I catch you, I'm gonna pull out your eyes and stick 'em down your pants, so you can watch me kick the crap outta you, okay? Then I'm gonna use your tongue to paint my boat!

Modem · **Posted:** Mon Apr 28, 2008 4:01 pm

Burns:

"Journalistic dynamite."

PopTodd · **Posted:** Mon Apr 28, 2008 4:06 pm

Homer: "There's a time and a place for everything; it's called 'college'."

FT · **Posted:** Mon Apr 28, 2008 5:32 pm

Edna Krabappel: "When Marconi invented the radio, what were the first words spoken?"

Martin Prince: "Next caller gets free tickets to Supertramp!"

Sex, Drugs, and Dave · **Posted:** Mon Apr 28, 2008 5:36 pm

Fat Tony: I don't get mad, I get Stabby.

Postmersh · **Posted:** Mon Apr 28, 2008 5:41 pm

Cap'n Squirrgle Wrote:

"Oh boy, sleep! That's where I'm a Viking!" -ralph

Corrected...

Also, other great Ralph Wiggum quotes:

"Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me."

"Then, the doctor told me that BOTH my eyes were lazy! And that's why it was the best summer ever."

"When I grow up, I'm going to bovine university!"

paper · **Posted:** Mon Apr 28, 2008 6:22 pm

Lambchop Wrote:

"But Aquaman, you can't marry a woman without gills. You're from two different worlds!"

lolz

Kerre Li (xix) · **Posted:** Mon Apr 28, 2008 6:29 pm

I know a band called
With Sexy Results
LOL
(from when Mo was on the soap opera)

toots · **Posted:** Mon Apr 28, 2008 7:15 pm

"Huzzah to the shopkeep!"

Stop Breathin' · **Posted:** Tue Apr 29, 2008 1:47 am

Marge: Wow, the lurkers really came out in this thread.
Selma: Lurkers? Your closet or mine?

Cotton · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 6:12 pm **Posts:** 17155

I KNOW A LIQUOR STORE WHERE WE CAN CASH THIS RIGHT NOW

DumpJack · **Posted:** Tue Apr 29, 2008 8:31 am

Rick Derris Wrote:

Burns sees the smoke signals Marge and Lisa have made.

Burns: [from a balcony,sighs] Ahhhhh...The Pawnee have returned. They probably want their souls back.

That just cracks me up for some reason.

Sketch · **Posted:** Tue Apr 29, 2008 10:43 am

Snake: Ah-ha! Goodbye, student loan payments!

Groundskeeper Willie: There's nary an animal alive that can outrun a greased Scotsman!

[sung]
Cherry Bobbins: Now, let's take our leave of this heartwarming scene.
Bart: Can I be a boozehound?
Homer: Not 'til your fif-teeeeeeen....

Cap'n Squirrgle · **Posted:** Tue Apr 29, 2008 10:46 am

DumpJack Wrote:

Rick Derris Wrote:

Burns sees the smoke signals Marge and Lisa have made.

Burns: [from a balcony,sighs] Ahhhhh...The Pawnee have returned. They probably want their souls back.

That just cracks me up for some reason.

jesus yes, I'd forgotten this one.

Hegel · **Posted:** Tue Apr 29, 2008 1:03 pm

Still my favorite:

Lisa: Dad, how come Jesus has a lasso?

Homer: Because he's aallllll man.

Cracks. Me. Up.

Furthermore, that entire episode "She of little faith" is in my top 5.

These are some runner-ups from that episode:

Homer: I would really like to thank you nerds for helping me out.

----------

Marge: Fixing all that damage is going to be very expensive.

Lovejoy: Yes, barring some sort of miracle. [looks Heavenward, expectantly. Nothing happens] All right, we'll help ourselves -- yet again.

----------

Lovejoy: People, we need some fund-raising ideas.
Marge: Let's just write to David Bowie again.
Lovejoy: No, he's done enough for this church. Anyone else?

----------

Ned: It's kind of you to offer, Mr. Burns, but the buzz around town is that you're, well, evil.

Burns: Oh, that's just a skip-rope rhyme. Believe me, the Lord's going to go for this in a big way. Now, who's with me?

Lovejoy: Oh, I guess we have no choice.

Burns: Excellent. [a crucifix falls off the church and smites Burns on the head] [looking up and shakes his fist] Oh, you'll get yours.

Favorite Simpsons Quote Ever

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