Haha. Techno-retard / ancient right winger that can't keep a steady job.

Hey fella, do you think that the two might have something to do with each other? Take a fucking computer class!!

next time i hear that or "creative genius" im gonna SNAP

plus i'm missing like 2 bouncy balls today

do pissquacks in the men's room count as "conversation in the workplace?"


because I just took a couple in, unfortunately.

Those always crack me up. I openly laugh.

You ever fire back?

what the hell is a pissquack?

You're standing at the urinal, you get all relaxed, and a quick angry one slips past the goalie.

QUACK.

"I thought it was a pissquack
But it got hot
So I fought back"

I always assumed people did that on purpose.

How nice that your employer supports the mentally disabled.

"you guys are really giving my box a beating"

i really hope they were talking about a computer

70+year old coworker is looking at VIBRATORS.COM right FUCKING NOW!!!
i can't believe it
i've turned and looked three times now

i have a picture...
it's hard to read the screen on it
but i bet i can find a page to prove it's the same

now he's reading about special carb diets

dude you work in some sort of experiment.

Awesome

he wasn't shopping for his wife either
he was in the inside-out-dildo category... if you know what i mean

in a way
it's kind of inspiring
to know that
youth isn't diminishing as fast as it seems

40 years from now
i might still have enough testosterone
to buy and use a battery powered pussy

while on the clock
at a new job

it's really starting to mess with me
one day im gonna run out to the rooftop
and i'll be greeted by cameras and helicopters

oh shit
i should clarify
this wasn't the new hire

this guy has been here a while

i usually catch him reading paris hilton/angela jolie news... but this was awesome

I pictured the For Shizzle headline yesterday randomly, taking the long way home, and laughed openly in the helmet.

Just wait 'til you find a new job, and you're the one looking at this stuff because you think it's normal.

Probably not the CORRECT thread, but whatever....

So I'm getting my hair did last week from this woman who has cut my hair three times in the past five years. We chit-chat about random meaningless shit for about 20 minutes. She cuts my hair.

Completely unprompted, near the end of the hair cut she bursts out, "You know you're really a great guy! You single?"
..
With a quizzical look on my face, "Err..yep."

"I'm too old for you...nevermind", she sighs.

"Yeah, I guess..."

I mean she definitely had her time when she probably could get any guy, and I could probably get into that after a 12 pack, but she is at least 40 and really wasn't doing it for me. I should have thrown out the 'half your age plus seven rule' to keep the door open, but I'm not gonna lose any sleep over it.

So after an extended awkward silence she makes her way to the counter to ring me up. I'm writing out a check while trying to make conversation that strays from the prior one. I give her the check and she has her right hand up like she wants to high-five.

Odd. But OK. I go to high-five her. As my hand connects with hers she grabs mine. Her hand is soaked with lotion and she starts sliding her greasy fingers between mine. And she won't let go when I try pulling away after three.long.seconds. Finally she releases my hand.

As I'm trying to rub in the goop that now covers my hand, she pipes up, "It's lotion". As opposed to what? Lube? Your vagina juice?

This all happens in front of two other employees and a customer. I say thank you again and briskly exit the building. I mean I'd consider an older woman, but not one that's a few years away from menopause, kids in high school...and I'm not even sure if she's married. Yikes. I guess I've never experienced someone so forward that doesn't have half a dozen drinks in them already. Although I will be requesting her the next time I get a hair cut.