I can only assume by the notification I received from Malcolm today:


I mean, c'mon, how many shambolic bands does Glasgow / Motherwell have?!

Truthfully, I'd love to go!

cool, a new MM album

Shambolic Trumps are currently 'resting' after a gruelling tour of Brazilian prisons so while they are on down time I'll be playing with my new musical project Krasnodar Tractor Factory.

We have a gig at Auchenshuggle Community Arts Centre that night so, sadly, I won't be at Mono.

Incidentally if you want to give Middleton a miss in favour of Krasnodar Tractory Factory entry is free. If you aren't familiar with the venue it's at the top of London Road and the art centre is the concrete building with no windows and razor wire on the roof between the mothballed steelworks and the waste land with numerous burnt out cars on it.

If any of the Young Teams stop you just say you know Joe Bananas.

Well, darn it. That's it, I'm canceling my flight.

Konstantin is the best we have on this board. He reads a more lucid Obner, but oddly, more interesting too. Goes to show, whatever Mark Clark & Danny Don't Rapp might suggest, it's not always drugs that makes you a good writer.

That's not to say Konstantin has never done drugs. I am sure he has. Marihuana, ecstacy, maybe a little cocaine... But mostly, I would think, just beer & occasionally something a little harder. I doubt he's done as much, or would imply he has done as much, as the Obner, et. al., would.

And you, my friend, are too fucking crazy to be on drugs.

I'm very anti cocaine. As someone who is genuinely of the peasant class, I've always viewed it as the vilest middle class decadence.

Much more so than fur coats or expensive cars, cocaine represents excess and degeneracy, its users, the sort of people, as a Sallustian, I'd point out as being 'bad' Romans, the type who brought the Empire down with their own greed and profound ignorance of hubris; who, despite having so many advantages in life end up as dissolute wrecks.

Think of every type of person you find repugnant - TV presenters, movie stars and producers. Stock brokers, estate agents, lawyers and bankers. Medical students and frat boys. All have coke as their constituency.

Yes, cocaine is the drug of that most loathsome fellow - the ignoble and indecent saturnalian who 'like beasts of the field, go with their face to the ground and are slaves to their appetites'.

Basically, you are too indie for coke.

Also he can't afford it.