So I do my exercisin' at a hotel next door to my office. The fitness room is always relatively empty, and membership is cheap.

Yesterday i'm taking a dip in the pool, and the only other folks in there are a family of three. Shortly after I get in, this mom, dad and little boy get out and head for the hot tub. I'd say the "mom" and "dad" were in their early forties; the kid looked about 6 or 7.

They are in the hot tub for about 5 minutes when I hear a big splashing commotion. I look over, and the "dad" is hauling ass out of the SIDE of the hot tub. He jumps onto the floor, and makes right for the exit, sopping wet, not stopping for his towel or anything; he doesn't even look back as he reaches for the door to the hallway / lobby area. The "mom" calls after him, then SHE pulls herself out the side and rushes after him, dripping water.

They are both out the door, and the kid is by himself back in the hot tub. He calls after THEM, and then gets out of the tub and runs out the door.

They never came back. Dude left his watch and everything.

And yes, I examined the hot tub for turds.

hypothesis 1: husband has irritable bowel syndrome and felt a steamer coming on. wanted to be honorable and get out to spare his family the shame.

Need more info to properly assess. Like, how much did you get for the watch?

One would assume that his female companion would be aware of this problem, and used to his mad dashes. Why would they BOTH take off without even looking back at the little kid, who as far too young to be left alone in a hotel hot tub. Plus, there were 2 vacant bathrooms a few feet away from the hot tub.




The watch was fugly.

i was thinking the same thing.

but why did she follow?

perhaps they left drugs or cash out in their room and they just then realized it was a terrible idea?

he needed a spotter?

They just realized that they left Kevin home alone.

Clearly she told him that the child wasn't his.

When I left the pool / fitness area later, I could still see the trail of water going toward the elevators.

perhaps they were wet
from the water
in the tub

hypothesis 2: husband has agoraphobia and got spooked. probably went back to the room and hid under the bed

That's some nice deducin'.

Well, he's the cluemaster.

i be predictin dis man was in eh hurray
maybe ima seeing he was wor'd bout de iron he left a pluggin

He probably got his rectum sucked inside out after sitting on one of the valves. He then ran back to the room before it retracted, cause his wife is a fan of licking the rosebud.

about what time was it? maybe they lost track of time and had to rush to leave the hotel or they'd be charged an extra day.

as for why the parents didn't stop to talk or take care of their kid, that can chalked up to some people being really stupid. at the retail store i work at, i see a ludicrous amount of 4 year olds running around without supervision.

Probably right around 3 PM.

He forgot she had to eat a cumlet on their cam site?

he was on mountain time, and realized he was about to miss the opportunity to vote on the stones against the beatles

I'm guessing he shit his drawers and wanted to change / clean it up. If he could've held it in, you're right, there were bathrooms right there. But if somethin' got past the goalie, maybe he decided to bolt before Bad turned to Worse.

but
why was wifey so concerned?

a good wifey just gets the look and knows husbo has sharted
her job is to distract the child

THIS JUST DOESN'T ADD UP

Definitely it. He was turned-out and wanted to give his wife a swinging Larry.