Aswad Vogelenzang's IT HAPPENED THIS DAY

March 3rd.

Pioneering French aviator Louis-Nicolas Robert died in a historic attempt to cross the English channel on the 3rd of March 1785 when his overloaded balloon ditched into the sea.

The subsequent inquiry into the accident blamed Robert himself after he had insisted on traveling with his favourite harpsichord, an instrument he played every day for an hour after lunch. Newspapers reported that Robert was playing the Euterpe Suite: Chaconne in F major, when his balloon tilted sideways and crashed into the breakers only yards from land.

The tragedy was witnessed by many of the great and the good of the day, including John Adams, who had assembled on the cliffs of Dover to welcome Robert on his arrival. Adams was greatly affected by the incident and on becoming President of the United States made it his primary political objective to ban by law all balloons, large and small, from the United States on grounds of safety.

Today possession of even a simple party balloon in the United States is legislated against by severe penalties including public beheading in Nebraska and Utah and 'death by ionizing by electric battery' in Maryland and Florida.

Balloons are an underrated form of entertainment.

You're shitting me. Adams was great as a Patriot, but, arguably, shit as a President.

um

I suppose this beats working.

Well done.

Dang, guys. Can I have a little fun, too?

Aswad Vogelenzang's IT HAPPENED THIS DAY

March 4th.


Bucephalus, Alexander the Great's famous horse, friend and military companion was born this day, 4th March, 355BC.

Bucephalus was the son of a Thessalian stallion and a Sicilian mare who met and fell in love at the Pythian Games of 354BC. They married after a short engagement, however marriages of mixed citizenship were very much frowned upon in Greece during this period and the couple suffered from great discrimination both by humans and other horses.

When Bucephalus was born, his parents decided to immigrate to Macedonia whose leader, King Philip (which translates as 'lover of horses') encouraged any equine from the Greek world to come to his country if they desired a life of freedom and opportunity. This they did although it involved risky passage through the barbarian lands of Thrace.

Bucephalus first met Alexander as a teenager in school class, both being taught by the famous philosopher Aristotle. The pair instantly bonded and apparently caused much disruption in class. Dionysius of Halicarnassus records in his History of the Universe '....they were a law unto themselves, often throwing paper darts at their teacher, the great Aristotle, which had written on them rude messages and even worse, launching erasers across class by placing them on wooden rulers which they then bent back and pinged at the teacher or other pupils'.

On leaving school with no qualifications they were both forced to join the army and together they conquered Greece, Persia, Egypt, Afghanistan and much of India.

thus bringing to the rest of the world the etiquette of soap-dropping in the shower, Holocaust deniers, Kavafy (see Greece), pissing in the stream, and help desk technicians.

ohg, werg hag fixped disk.

Andy Zaltzman pretty much does these kinds of riffs on The Bugle, which is why I stopped listening to The Bugle.