It took almost 18 years, but it looks like I'm about to become a single man again. In some ways, it hurts deeply and beyond comprehension, yet in other ways it is a tremendous relief and I feel excited about the future.

Me and the wife have been struggling for some time now (longer than I actually realized myself), but it wasn't until tonight that either of us were finally able to say it's over.

Hopefully, those who've gone through this in recent years won't mind me possibly reaching out at some point in the weeks/months to come. I've got a feeling I may need your perspective.

No perspective on this from my end, but just some words of support and thoughts for the best. Can't imagine what you're going through, but I hope you and your sons (and wife, by proxy) can get through this the best way possible.

Don't be afraid to check in here as you need. We got you, lummox.

Oh shit Bob...I'm really sorry to hear that. Granted, I don't pay much attention around here, but judging by your pics/stories I figured you & your wife were on solid ground.

I was really hoping your thread title was going to lead to just another bad FT joke.

This may be all kinds of wrong, but the "FT is dating" threads of 2012 are going to be pure gold.

Seriously, as someone who had his own marriage troubles during the great unemployment of '09, I really feel for you. Wishing you nothing but the best, big guy.

Thanks, Chadwick. All things considered (and I'm sure MANY couples entering the separation/divorce phase say this), I really think we're both OK with it and with each other moving forward. No custody battles or lingering resentment or any of that stuff. It's time for us to be happy, which we no longer were together. I'm worried about how the kids will handle/process all this, but we are going to do whatever it takes to remain a family - even though we won't always be together (if that even makes the slightest bit of sense).

Thanks, Dave. It's not any kind of sordid tale of infidelity or gross malfeasance on either of our parts. More than anything, almost two decades of such factors as special needs children, parents living with/near us, and ongoing financial woes have simply taken their toll. We had to take care of so many other people and crises all this time that we've neglected each other and ourselves.

damn, really sorry to hear.
how old are the kids?

Damn, Bob. Sorry to hear about it, eh?

sorry man. hope you can both move forward as best as you can.

Sorry to hear that as well. Sometimes it truly is for the best (for both people). Head up.

Wow, really sorry to hear about this, Bob. If you've exhausted all in trying to save the marriage, then I'm glad that you're at least "at peace" with the situation. I really found your statement about taking care of others, and not yourself pretty poignant. In our culture, we're constantly asked to break normal personal boundaries, and because of that, people aren't able to mend wounds properly. Best of luck, and like the others have said, we'll be a shoulder to lean on.

Be well Bob. Not ever easy but sometimes just what's needed for both.

That sucks Bob, count me in as one of those people who assumed your marriage was going well.
I wish thee well, you seem like you're a great father and have always been a cool guy on here.

The fact that your kids remain the number one priority for you and your wife during this process, will do wonders, and I think you may wind up being surprised at how well your kids may deal with the situation.

My folks divorced when I was 9 with the similar goal, and were able to put their 'sh*t' aside on my behalf, and it (from what i can remember) worked out for the best. I think kids (starting at a really young age) have the capacity to understand stuff way beyond their years. I have a general idea of how old your kids are based on pictures over the years, but if not now, eventually they will clearly see that their folks aren't happy like a married couple 'should' be. If it is an amicable split, I think in the long run, the love within your family can be stronger than ever.

Kudos to you and the Mrs. for sticking it out as long as you did...My parents became the best of friends after they divorced...

stay strong.

I'm sorry bob. If there's anything you need, just give a ring.

So what are you going to do to make yourself happy? Any big plans? Gonna pull a dangerfield and head back to school?

this right here is really great to hear man, and honestly, the way it should be. you both need to be happy.

divorce was definitely the right move for me and the ex. it was never a negative, we simply grew apart from each other.

to you FT for whatever road you take.

Well, Fuck A Duck, Bobbo. Whatever you need or want, just let us know. We got your back.

Shocked.

yeah, i was surprised too. And I didn't even have him picked in the divorce pool

Sorry to hear that, but like you said it may be the best for all involved. My only piece of advice (at this point, anyway) is always remember how this is affecting your kids, and act accordingly. I don't mean to spoil them hopelessly, but always be there for them and watch out for their feelings and needs.

Bob should move in with your inlaws immediately. We could bring in cameras and pitch the whole thing as a reality show.

Best wishes on sorting through all this and (hopefully) coming out the other side.

Hey man, no advice or perspective here, but best of luck to you and your family.

The Gaines Burger Hotel?

Once you've both come to the same conclusion, it's time to act. Been through it twice. If I can help at all, I'm here.

*golfclap*

No insight across the ocean... just sympathy and love. Don't post here these days, but you know how to get in touch if needed.