well not necessarily zen buddhism. And I wouldnt argue with what you are saying which seems to basically be that "some circumstances make things worse than others" - but you are aware of PoD's history of discontent, correct?

anyhow, take what you can and leave the rest.

Yeah man I'm aware. I guess I was just taking issue with the thought that changing one aspect of your life would have no effect on one's happiness unless you change yourself internally (ie- one's job/career)

The rest I can get with.

This is a dangerous path if timmy's right. I've been there.



Even 1 of 3 is pretty hard to take. 2 of 3 is perfect. If I have all 3, I tend to let my job take over my life and lose balance in my life.



Yeah, I hate to say it Phil but you sound like you are back in the same situation you were in when you were in Chicago. Hate teaching but still teaching, not satisfied with the path your life is on, etc. Figure out what you really want and pursue it with gusto.

Don't just sit back and take the path of least resistance. That's easier advice to give than follow of course.



Radcliffe's snarkiness towards suburban hubbies aside, there may be some truth here. Maybe your biggest problem is that you really want your music career to take off so you aren't trying hard enough to find something non-musical that you'd enjoy a lot more than teaching. So either commit 100% to music and live with that its going to be a struggle or spend more time figuring out the suburban hubby life that will make you happy because it doesn't seem to be teaching and home improvements.

my job is non intrusive enough and pays well enough that it is basically a net zero in my life. it is generally unfulfilling and gets boring at times, but I can set my own schedule and most of the time its not half bad.

my wife, my kids, and my friends provide all the happiness I need.

i think i'm having one too for considering a date with a 22 year old.

Full speed ahead.

Billy makes some good points. I think it is one of those things that you really need to figure out what will make you happy. If you're like me, the answer is most likely nothing. And that is a good thing, because it pushes me to work harder, make my business better, etc.

But I get satisfaction out of my family, some friends, etc.

Basically, the answer is, there is no answer.

That's just your incredible immaturity at work. Go with it.

This sounds exactly like my job situation.

i was going to get indignant about this but then remembered i called dalen a cum-eater yesterday so...

Phil, get some mushrooms, drive out to the middle of nowhere, you'll figure it out.

Correct. Looks like your files are up to date on him.




I can get behind this, even if you are joking. It'll take you out of your obvious current rut and you'll get to be PHILosophical for a few hours.

Yeah, I gotta say the mushroom idea is pretty good. Way better than the baby idea anyway.

happiness is overrated.

yeah, this was a major factor in my impending de-nuptials

gotta stick with the tom haverford rule: half your age + 7 is the minimum

It's also something that comes and goes, but is great when it's there. You can be depressed/bitter when it's not around, or you can pursue it to positive and negative results. It, like money, make the world go 'round.

honestly, I wasn't kidding...its a great way to get yourself centered, have a little fun, and get outside your own head for a second. Haven't Indian Tribes used the similar Vision Quest idea for ages???

it always works in movies/tv...

I can honestly say this job hits all 3, and pretty hard at that. And to Derris's point, it pays huge dividends at home. We have stability, we have one of us always in a good mood, I have pretty much any/all the free time I want, if I need to be somewhere I can be there, and they will let me take on just about anything I ask for. This really is a rare, wonderfully good fit. I don't take it for granted. It makes a very big difference in our lives to have one of us plugged in like this. I was going to pass it up, and indeed DID pass it up, until the wife talked me into it. She had a hunch that this was my once-in-a-lifetime ticket, and that shit would work out, and it has.

It's not "all about" the job or anything, but it makes a hell of a lot of the rest of your lives together easy as fuck when you have a lot of time together, when you have health benefits and shit, when the big worries are off the ticket.

Ridiculous!

okay, tinkerbell.

Skip the 'shrooms and go straight for the acid. Although the only thing that I ever figured out was the 60's, tie-dye, and how cool glow sticks really are. It sounds like you just really need to decide what you want to do with your life, and where your priories are. I'm not sure if that's a mid life crisis, because thats where I am too, and I'm only 22.

isn't every decision we make based on what we think will increase our happiness/pleasure? the problem isn't happiness, then, its short-sighted decision making.

not everyone makes decisions based on what they believe will make them happy. some make decisions based on what they think others think they should do or what might make others happy first. there's really a whole slew of reasons people make decisions not based on their own happiness. not that that's the right way to go or anything, but it happens a hell of a lot.

i really dont think that way, but im a selfish bastard.