I want a fucking job that actually pays me as opposed to "well, at least you're getting exposure"

an ableton controller

to not have friends book benefits on the same day as the one I am doing.

the girl I'm seeing to not be so fucking flaky

the girl I was seeing last to figure it out already

I dunno man, something that doesn't entail a permanent object housed in your wife's pussy?

You may as well be getting those 5 years worth of BC shots they talked about giving welfare recipient mothers a while back. Depo Pervara?

I donno man, the pills make mine crazy, the ring made her UBER crazy, and the on-the-fly alternatives kinda suck. I'm not left with much else to hope for.

Alabama birth control is limited to abortion or anal

Physical superfluous items:

Ipad
Gibson SG
Large SUV in my price range, '09 or newer, with under 20K miles


More or less abstract:

UGA to win a National Title in football and a Final Four appearance in basketball (I'm realistic)
Atlanta pro teams to stop shittng the bed at crucial moments
To travel more internationally
Develop a better taste for wine (a more refined palate)
Lose 10 pounds
Buy my first home in the next couple years
Develop better handwriting (embarrassingly bad)
Read more books

Oh man, this is actually an understatement

You should just vow never to write anything, ever. iPhone notes function, and the like.

I want some miracle to transpire that will enable me to pull the $400 out of my ass needed to pay my income taxes by 4/15. Kinda sucks now that I've got the ideal situation vis-a-vis girlfriend out of my league that I could be facing time in the pokey (or at least have my pitiful wages garnisheed.)

FYI, any Obs interested in becoming a loan shark, allow me to volunteer as your introductory chum. I have plenty of kneecaps and such just waiting to be broken, so what are you waiting for???

This works on multiple levels, because it could be either MO'nique, who beat up on Precious, or Dominique, who whipped the ass of that former NBA ref who tried collecting his unpaid suit money.

my thoughts, as well

a big part of my job is conducting interviews with people, and I end up with 15 pages of unreadable notes. i try to use my laptop as much as possible, but sometimes cant....makes it tough for the admins to type up my notes. they put in dozens of ??? or guesses, so I end up doing most of it myself.

I found an old notebook from my college paper days when I moved in Sept. and the degree to which my handwriting has degraded in 10 or so years is shocking and almost alarming. I've obviously developed my own shorthand and notes syntax over the years, but even normal stuff would be incomprehensible to anyone else. God help any lawyers who have to make sense of my notes were I/they ever to be subpoenaed.

Is this for FY '10?

If so, file an extension, which I believe you can do on irs.gov or through turbotax or whatever, and then pay what you can right then, even if it's $50. The extension gives you until 10/15 and you do incur interest, but I really think it's whatever the going rate for borrowing is, so what .25%?

If it's a debt owed, call them and "play" poor and ask about setting up a payment plan. Put on your thickest Texas drawl while doing so.

i used to always think i had pretty good handwriting, but it really seems to have gone to hell in a handbasket over the past 10-15 years or so

Thanks for the info! Yeah, it's for FY2010. Everything I could find on the IRS website basically said pay up in full OR ELSE. And that extensions are only for filing and not for paying, etc.

Too bad they don't give everyone a rolling two-year window, to where if I owe $400 this year but have $600 coming in a refund next year, they could just deduct the $400 then and send me $200. Of course, that ain't how big GUBMINT works.

After an entire elementary, middle and HS career of being told I had terrible handwriting and that I better learn to type or I would be screwed, I now have what many would consider extraordinary penmanship, and can type only a little better than hunting and pecking.

Bob - they want you to think that because, like Jimmy Conway, they want their money "TA-DAY!" but it makes no sense if you can get an extension to file, but would still have to pay. What they really mean is that unless you can pay immediately, you will incur interest charges.

we typically owe 1500 - 3000 per year and usually just send em a little money now and send 'em the rest later by October. i think this year we are in the 2k range and I needs some money for summer trips...so they cant have it.

I don't think they even really say that. Its more something to the effect that the extension does not absolve you of owing full payment by the mid april deadline. That way they can charge the interest and penalties.

FT if all you owe is $400, you ought to be able to get that down to $0 if you are just a little more aggressive in your deductions. You probably haven't even claimed Mexican Junior as a dependent or deducted all the expenses related to your "online publishing" career.

mexican junior lol

Dude. Don't sweat it. Assuming you don't have any leftover shit you didn't disclose, just file. They really only care if you don't file. So file, no matter what. If you can send them a partial payment, do that.

In 4-6 weeks, they will send you a bill. You can either pay it then, or wait again. Then they will send you another bill, and eventually they will bug you to pay or get a payment plan. I'm pretty sure as long as you don't owe Snipes/Willie money, and it's just for the current year, and you aren't already on a plan, they will take whatever you offer, and you can pretty much set your payment amount. Make it something super manageable, and just pay extra when you can. This is the IRS, not a credit card at 29% APR. The interest is negligible.

The link below has info. It says a $105 one-time fee, which is a big chunk for $400, but I don't remember paying that*. You can only have one payment plan at a time, but other than that, it's super simple. I fouled up on my withholding a few years ago on a contract, and I set my payments low ($100 maybe?) and just doubled them up as often as I could.
IRS LINK. FAQ on payment plans

*EDIT: I re-read the link. It used to be $43, but now it is $105 unless you do direct debit, in which case it is $52.

It feels terrifying at first, but it's really pretty painless. Also, if you do this, and you decide to mail in checks each month, write down where you send them. It's a pain in the ass if you lose one of the little slips, because you have to call the IRS. And "I must have thrown away my payment slip with a crusty sock and six Newcastle bottles" isn't in the IRS phone tree.

I guess that's why I pay my accountant more than Bob owes to take care of this shit?

Given my wife is a CPA, I have no idea how to actually pay my taxes. Magically the government sends us a check every year. If the Obner curse strikes us, I'm screwed as I'll look absolutely ridiculous as a 30 year old man who doesn't know how to pay taxes. I'll probably go Snipes style and forget to pay them.