Opened up my airbox at lunch today to clean the filter. Looks like Mr. Mousington used it this winter as his pantry while it was in storage in my buddy's basement. I had to pry seeds out of the folds of the filter for ten minutes.

Also, Semke better not come around Cambridge Mass. Looks like he pissed someone off.

I just watched 'Theatre of Blood'.

8 of the 30 credited parts are listed as 'Meths Drinker' making it the greatest movie of all time.

(No bad review from me, Vincent).

i'm impressed that you know this person

I missed this before, but Jesus - BABY STORK!! 15/16ths

Excised from the upcoming oral history of ESPN (Those boys have all the fun) by the writers of the SNL oral history (Live from New York):

You hear about the "Rug Races?" Well, [redacted] had this place near [redacted] and we used to go out there for meetings a couple times a year. There was a lot of drinking that went on there, a ton of drinking. [Redacted] and his buddies apparently called these hookers and in front of [redacted], he got them to lie naked on the floor on their backs with their legs spread and apparently [redacted] and one of his buddies kneeled down naked in front of them and just started licking them and sort of like pushing them along the floor, with their tongues in the girls' crotches.

Of course, I'm sure LooGAR, et. al., have done worse. Or so they will say.

& we'll all believe them.

i should change my username to redacted

not sure i've ever been more excited about the release of a book

Spotted several miles from home, on the way in to work this morning:

you photoshopped that didnja

I now know that whenever I'm on a balcony or rooftop regaling my many fans, I need to yell "I AM A GOLDEN GAR!"

I did a full double take. Fortunately it was right at an intersection I had to stop at anyway, and the camera was in my bag on the bag of the bike. I think it's supposed to be Golden Garden, but they just sorta stopped.

'Garden' insinuates fresh.

Josh Ritter and My Morning Jacket just announced tour dates here this summer. Finally get to see MMJ for the first time!

Together? That seems like an odd combination.

Naw, they're separate dates. I just found out about them at the same time.

Neko is opening for MMJ in August, but she joins them a week after the St. Louis date, that's such a bummer.

Jerky Boys?

This one did it for me today. Today will be good now. Success?

http://is.gd/2sO0e6

A British woman has been stabbed and beheaded in Tenerife, according to reports.

The woman was reportedly attacked in a supermarket in the town of Los Cristianos on the island.

A Bulgarian man has been detained by Spanish police.

Spanish media reported that witnesses saw the man enter a Chinese supermarket at the Valdes Shopping Centre and, without saying a word, attacked the woman with a knife, cutting her head off.

Manuel Reveron, a local a councillor for citizen security said: "Apparently this gentleman without any motive or any reason, although for this there is no reasoning, entered the shop and then cut this woman's neck and took the head in his hand outside up to the sidewalk.

"Then the security guard was able to throw him on the ground and we covered the macabre (site)."

A Foreign Office spokesman said: "We are aware of reports of the death of a British national in Tenerife and are urgently investigating."

Brazilian Woman Wins Right To Masturbate At Work

Ana Catarian Bezerra is a 36-year-old Brazilian woman who suffers from a chemical imbalance that triggers severe anxiety and hypersexuality. Ana, an accountant by day, began to have problems at work because the only way to relieve said anxiety is by masturbating. A lot. Now, after winning a court battle and seeking professional medical help, Ana is allowed to masturbate and watch porn — using her work's computer, no less — legally.

Ana wasn't always like this, she was worse:

"I got so bad I would to masturbate up to forty seven-times a day. That's when I asked for help, I knew it wasn't normal."

Carlos Howert, Ana's doctor, prescribes Ana with a "cocktail" (read: an entire medicine cabinet's worth) of tranquillizers. We're not sure how that "cocktail" doesn't knock Ana out (half a Claritin feels like an elephant tranquillizer to us), but thanks to Dr. Howert's concoction, Ana only has to masturbate around eighteen-times a day.

So, like, a little less than Elvis Crespo.

Of course all of this sounds absurd and hilarious to most us but for Ana it's probably anything but. Last April she had to take her employer to court in order to be allowed to masturbate during work hours. Ana won.

Still, imagine an office full of of scandalized and perverted stares as you exit the bathroom or bend down to pick up a pencil — awkward? Very. Also, as a woman, having a bunch of men knowing you're a clinical nympho probably doesn't help deter unwanted sexual advances.




http://barbara.guanabee.com/2011/05/bra ... bate-work/