My daughter is 3, almost 4. She farts constantly. Having grown up in a redneck, pro-fart household, I predictably find it awesome and entertaining. So one day while biking on a path through woods with her behind me, I ... you know... had to fart. And you can't fart on a bike saddle. Mechanics are all wrong. You have to lift up a little. And she heard me, which isn't surprising since she sits ten inches behind my ass. To be funny, I blamed it on "a wood duck." I said that wood ducks are sneaky and live in the woods and make fart noises and then disappear. It has turned into a running gag.

Enter tonight, when we had guests over for dinner that my wife knows through work. We have her in PJ's on the couch reading a bedtime story, and she announces "I HAVE A WOOD DUCK IN MY BUTT" and lets rip. I just sorta quietly was like "shhh we don't do the wood duck in front of other people" and hoped they somehow doubted their ears.

That's Funny, wood ducks. My kids will crack them too and its an "all ok" thing, mind your presence, but just tonight my little girl was dropping them all sorts of times and laughing and continuing on, of course the rest of us giggling all the while. I finally said "Lordy you got bombs in your butt." She fell down laughing, " I know, I know, its funny I can't help it."

i love it when you reprimand them for doing it in public and they fire back with "but daaad/mommm, YOU always do it..."

And I'm a grownup and no one is responsible for me, and I know when I'll get in trouble and won't, so I can damn well curse like a sailor and you can't, pipsqueak.

At least he's moved on from wanting to carry several fleecy blankets at a time IN HIS PANTS.

Mine does not know when to quit. Like, she has no sensor to warn her that she's bugging the hell out of someone and about to get yelled at. If it's funny once, it's funny infinity. I'm trying to work on that.

We established a rule that no joke is funny more than three times in a row or five times in a day. But autistic kids like rules, might not work on a chatty three year old.

get her to board here

oatmill

My daughter is not big on rules. She wants attention, and isn't very good at distinguishing between the Good variety and the Bad. Right now she refuses to let us talk to each other, or anyone else, unless she is distracted. If she's even the tiniest bit bored, she will CLIMB one of us and get in our faces. And then when she inevitably gets forcefully corrected, she instantly cries. Which, again, gets her attention.

I need to strategize and work on that shit.

Man, that all sounds so familiar.

Very, very similar behavior from ours. I think some of these things are nearly universal for 3-year-olds at this stage.

I try to be mindful of her needs and intentions, but I can't help but be frustrated with her most of the time. It's difficult. But I know she won't always crave my attention, and she won't always run around and act crazy when she's tired and bored.

Killed at Bumbershoot

The one thing I have gotten good at with my daughter (and try to encourage my wife to do the same) is to ignore her when she breaks down into those highly dramatic sudden crying spells...May not work with every kid, but she seems to get it and moves on to something else.

(The scenario here is usually "I get home from work, my wife leaves for work and my daughter immediately hits me up to watch TV. I say no, the waterworks start and then two minutes later she is playing contentedly in her playroom."

Doesn't always work and sometimes I say "Fine, how about an episode of Dinosaur Train?" or whatever, because, life is hard.

My 3 year Old: Knock Knock
Me: Who's there?
3 Year Old: *any random word that comes to her head*
Me: *random word* who?
3 Year Old: *random word* poops on your head!

3 year old: repeat 100x
Me: sends her to bed.

haha, farts...

Awesome.

seriously.

No kids here, but farts are always funny

Starting to get her to understand that The Wood Duck is a secret, and can't be tossed out when people visit.


Because I have to.

Maybe buy some Beano?

You're not gonna stop a kid from having to fart. You're just gonna get them to not advertise it.



Hopefully.

Am I out of the loop because I don't have kids or are you just calling Facebook Facebox?

One of the first songs I taught my kids

Squidbillies reference. "An dontchu iBook him on the Facebox, neither."

rookies.

From the inbox:

From: "Disney.com Support" <support@disneyonline.com>
Subject: RE: Disney Connection

Hi,

Thank you for contacting us.

Unfortunately we are unable to assist you with your inquiry. Please contact your cable provider for assistance.

Regards,

Anthony
Disney Online
http://disney.go.com

*** Original Message ***

This is terrible! I went to the Disney Connection homepage and saw that my
NET GEAR does not support the service, and I am wondering if you can
contact the company to give me access to the site.

Here are 10 reasons why I want it:

1. it looks interesting
2. the games look good
3. I would go there to play Fix it Felix Jr.
4. It is even more fun than the 2nd most fun thing in the world.
5. it is
10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
X better than Caillou
6. Dora is not on the site because she is owned by another company (Viacom).
7. I would even get it for free if I could.
8. It should be my only homework assignment
9. I would look at it all day.
10. I would not even have to log in.

Please let me have it

love,
Whomptastic


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