Alright, a condensed version of the recap as the playoff picture is more important to y'all anyway. Surprising only one match this upcoming week (elephanstoners vs. Mendoza Line) have both teams vying for a playoff position.
In: Rocket Sauce, El Nacho De Muerte, Execute Plan 9
Win and they're in: Schadenfreude, elephanstoners, Andyfest, 3.2% Evil
Need help: Mendoza Line, Greased-Up Deaf Guys, Repeat Offenders
Out: everybody under .500
Schadenfruede needs
Win
OR
Mendoza Line/Greased-Up Deaf Guys loss
OR
Greased-Up Deaf Guys scoring within 162.84
OR
Mendoza Line scoring within 156.38
OR
3.2% Evil loss + 3.2% Evil scoring within 62.81
OR
Andyfest loss + Andyfest scoring within 34.52
OR
elephanstoners loss + elephantstoners scoring within 16.27
elephantstoners need
Win
OR
Greased-Up Deaf Guys loss
OR
Mendoza Line scoring within 140.12
OR
Greased-Up Deaf Guys scoring within 146.57
OR
Schadenfreude loss + outscoring Schadenfreude by 16.28
OR
3.2% Evil loss + 3.2% Evil scoring within 46.54
OR
Andyfest loss + Andyfest scoring within 17.91
OR
Andyfests needs
Win
OR
Mendoza Line/Greased-Up Deaf Guys loss
OR
Mendoza Line scoring within 122.21
OR
Greased-Up Deaf Guys scoring within 128.66
OR
elephantstoners loss + outscoring elephantstoners by 17.92
OR
Schadenfreude loss + outscoring Schadenfreude by 34.53
OR
3.2% Evil loss + 3.2% Evil scoring within 28.63
OR
3.2% Evil needs
Win
OR
Mendoza Line/Greased-Up Deaf Guys loss
OR
Mendoza Line scoring within 93.57
OR
Greased-Up Deaf Guys scoring within 100.03
OR
Andyfest loss + outscoring Andyfest by 28.64
OR
elephantstoners loss + outscoring elephantstoners by 46.55
OR
Schadenfreude loss + outscoring Schadenfreude by 34.53
OR
Mendoza Line needs
Win + Greased-Up DeafGuys loss
OR
Win + Greased-up DeafGuys scoring within 6.45
OR
Greased-up Deaf Guys loss + Greased-up Deaf Guys scoring within 6.45 + Repeat Offenders loss
OR
Greased-up Deaf Guys loss + Greased-up Deaf Guys scoring within 6.45 + outscoring Repeat Offenders by 20.72
Win + outscoring elephantstoners by 140.13
OR
Win + 3.2% Evil + outscoring 3.2% Evil by 93.59
OR
Win + Andyfest loss + outscoring Andyfest by 122.22
OR
Win + Schadenfreude loss + outscoring Schadenfreude by 156.40
Greased-Up Deaf Guys need
Win + Mendoza Line loss
OR
Win + outscoring Mendoza Line by 6.46
OR
Mendoza Line loss + outscoring Mendoza Line by 6.46 + Repeat Offenders loss
OR
Mendoza Line loss + outscoring Mendoza Line by 6.46 + outscoring Repeat Offenders by 27.17
Win + 3.2% Evil + outscoring 3.2% Evil by 100.04
OR
Win + Andyfest loss + outscoring Andyfest by 128.67
OR
Win + elephantstoners loss + outscoring elephantstoners by 146.58
OR
Win + Schadenfreude loss + outscoring Schadenfreude by 162.85
Repeat Offenders need
Win + Mendoza Line loss + Greased-Up Deaf Guys loss + Greased-Up Deaf Guys scoring within 27.16
OR
Win + Mendoza Line loss + Greased-Up Deaf Guys loss + Mendoza Line scoring within 20.71
Onto week 12...
The Mendoza Line 89.93
Knights Who Say Ni 74.50
Mendoza's leading receiver: RB Chris Brown (3 - 105 - 1)
Where has Andre Johnson (Rec: 12 - 159 - 1) been all fucking year?
Greased-up Deaf Guys 98.87
elephantstoners 97.27
Torry Holt (Rec: 10 - 130 - 1) keeps the guys alive.
Carson Palmer (Pass: 302 - 3 TD / 1 INT, Rush: 14 - 0, 2 PT conversion) stays in All Pro form.
Andyfest 67.37
El Nacho de Muerte 108.47
Andyfest from first to sixth. Ouch.
Nacho RBs - Rush: 236 - 2, Rec: 9 - 64... and a fumble
3.2% Evil 102.63
Rex and the Jedi 75.90
L-muthafukkin'-T!!!!!! (Rush: 184 - 3, Rec: 6 - 29)
Arnaz Battle (Rec: 7 - 75 - 1) is back but on the bench.
Execute Plan 9 92.93
timmyjoe42er's 56.27
Ricky Williams (Rush: 82 - 1, Rec: 2 - 13) is just in time for the playoffs.
How much does Timmy hate Peyton Manning? (Pass: 245 - 2 TD / 1 INT)
Max's Silver Hammers 62.37
Gilead Gunslingers 113.07
Tiki Barber (Rush: 151 - 0, Rec: 5 - 27 - ) should not be last place.
Gilead bench - Eli Manning (Pass: 344 - 2 TD / 1 INT)
Rocket Sauce 144.23
Repeat Offenders 89.37
Rocket Sauce: top of the leader boards & total points. Nice one, buff.
Alge Crumpler (Rec: 7 - 104 - 2) helps Scott keep the necessary point advantage.
The Sunlandic Twins 65.60
Schadenfreude 70.90
Joey Galloway (Rec: 7 - 138 - 0) makes an All-Pro run
C-Man gave up weeks ago and almost won?
The Grape Rush 64.00
Bolsheviks in Space 50.00
Todd Heap (Rec: 6 - 87 - 2) would have gotten Ripple 23 more points
Lambchop... couldn't have won this game.
Sack of Worms 74.03
Lick my Lovepump 104.23
Ryan gets three 20+ performers... and out of the playoffs.
Rudi + Carr = win this game = dignity
Code:
1. Rocket Sauce 9-3-0 .750 1200.19 W-9
2. El Nacho de Muerte 9-3-0 .750 1145.76 W-4
3. Execute Plan 9 9-3-0 .750 1111.33 W-2
4. Schadenfreude 8-4-0 .667 1167.45 W-5
5. elephantstoners 8-4-0 .667 1151.18 L-3
6. Andyfest 8-4-0 .667 1133.27 L-1
7. 3.2% Evil 8-4-0 .667 1104.64 W-1
8. The Mendoza Line 7-5-0 .583 1011.06 W-2
9. Greased-up Deaf Guys 7-5-0 .583 1004.61 W-4
10. Repeat Offenders 6-6-0 .500 1031.77 L-2
11. Lick my Lovepump 5-6-1 .458 884.41 W-1
12. Gilead Gunslingers 5-7-0 .417 959.55 W-2
13. Rex and the Jedi 5-7-0 .417 958.16 L-3
14. Knights Who Say Ni 5-7-0 .417 948.84 L-2
15. The Grape Rush 5-7-0 .417 755.07 W-1
16. timmyjoe42er's 4-8-0 .333 783.58 L-1
17. Bolsheviks in Space 4-8-0 .333 732.07 L-1
18. Max's Silver Hammers 3-8-1 .292 806.68 L-2
19. Sack of Worms 2-10-0 .167 827.52 L-4
20. The Sunlandic Twins 2-10-0 .167 773.03 L-6
Week 12 All-Stars
QB: David Carr
RB: LaDanian Tomlinson, Lamont Jordan
WR/TE: Joe Jurevicius, Andre Johnson, Alge Crumpler, Torry Holt
K: Mike Vaderjagt, Rob Bironas
D: Minnesota
Season All-Stars
QB: Carson Palmer
RB: LaDanian Tomlinson, Shaun Alexander
WR: Steve Smith, Chad Johnson, Larry Fitzgerald, Joey Galloway
K: Neil Rackers
D: Chicago