Rancho Chuchumongous...you could kick it with Day-Day

depressing thread

people, public transportation in la rarely exists. trust me, i've been without a car for a little over a month and it's KILLING ME. luckily i live close to work so public trans is easy.

as far as traffic if you're living in pasadena going to claremont... it's opposite traffic so it wouldn't be that bad.

and the glass house has no booze. but there's good shows there.

i still say you visit and see la for yourself. that's the only way you can really determine if la is somewhere you'd want to live.

I had this lengthy response written up, as my situation is/was oddly similar to yours (I work in publishing, Lady KPH will soon be Lady KPH, PhD, we were considering a move elsewhere entirely for her career, etc.).

I can't imagine why you/anyone would want to work in publishing in Boston. The pay is horrible, the hours long, the cost of living silly expensive, etc.

Go west young man.

1. Go where ever you need to go to be to keep getting the sweet lovin'

2. If you go to Cali, you'll be that much closer to an Amoeba's

Firstly, that is terribly sweet (if you are in a committed relationship, marriage need not enter in the picture as long as you are both happy with that decision). Secondly, I think you’ve answered your own question when you said you would support her in her decisions, no matter what. As such, you will do what you need to do while she is working on her program.

As for her career, I’d be interested in knowing more about what programs she is looking at as I’m in the museum field too. What is her ultimate goal in the museum world? It is important for her to get at least her master’s degree; however, having said that, it is such a competitive field that it is just as important to have your foot in the door as it is to get your graduate degree. If she has a good museum job in Philadelphia why couldn’t she look at programs locally? I guess that depends on her program and her actual position at her present institution.

Now for the wet blanket part…I’ve ended two long-term relationships where I was the main bread winner supporting an artist in their chosen field. In both circumstances the guys, who professed their undying love and commitment, did not follow up on their end of the bargain (i.e. they were not nearly as ambitious about their art as I was in my own field). In the end, I grew to resent them for it and I ended the relationships. Not that I thought, “hey, they will become famous and I’ll get rich” but I at least wanted to see them put as much effort into their craft as I did my career. So, if you feel like she will come through in the end, that is become gainfully employed, then your sacrifices now are for a good thing; if she isn’t going to pull her weight in the future, then you will resent your sacrifices.

Best of luck to you both.

This thread is really not that depressing. to think I started it after being referred to as a "private poster". Sorry to bring you down, jerkass.



yeah, but there's like 3 cities in this country where publishing is aboud, though, especially of the medical variety.

Mice, she loves her museum job, but her grant goes with her boss, and that's where half her paycheck comes from. Her museum is probably one of the most publicly underfunded in the country, so she's always concerned about being kept on after her boss leaves. She doesn't have her master's, bu she's been training everyone with a master's that's been hired for 2 years.

I'm not an artist, and I'm hardly counting on anything from her other than what she get out of being with her now. I'm far too laid back to resent anything, I think.

Not saying you would necessarily ever feel resentment but was just sharing an example of making sacrifices for someone else…I am actually a real “chill” kind of person myself, believe me, these were both extraordinary circumstances which caused my resentment.

Anyway, sounds like she is moving in the right direction especially due to the uncertainty of her current position. Sounds like you’ve got a real connection with each other which, in the end, will transcend job opportunities, etc. Plus, you never know what new doors may open up for you as a result.

Oh no doubt. Just telling you how it is from the perspective of someone who actually does working in publishing, in Boston, even with a slight focus on medical from time-to-time.

Also, there are numerous med art/editorial companies out there. I haven't noticed a particular trend towards being localized to one of the major coastal cities alone.

goddamnit this fucker is SMART.

I think you've changed less then I intend to.



oh, make no mistake, I'm a selfish jerk, but I ain't a stupid one. As long as she doesn't totally decide she wants to have babies once I get that ring on her I'll be happy.

That's a DILLY of a pickle!



The correct answer is MOVE TO AUSTIN.