the redworm Wrote:
Now since I’m stupid and in love with her, I’ve told her I’ll pretty much follow her wherever her decisions take her and not to deprive herself of any opportunity on my account, and I mean it.
Firstly, that is terribly sweet (if you are in a committed relationship, marriage need not enter in the picture as long as you are both happy with that decision). Secondly, I think you’ve answered your own question when you said you would support her in her decisions, no matter what. As such, you will do what you need to do while she is working on her program.
As for her career, I’d be interested in knowing more about what programs she is looking at as I’m in the museum field too. What is her ultimate goal in the museum world? It is important for her to get at least her master’s degree; however, having said that, it is such a competitive field that it is just as important to have your foot in the door as it is to get your graduate degree. If she has a good museum job in Philadelphia why couldn’t she look at programs locally? I guess that depends on her program and her actual position at her present institution.
Now for the wet blanket part…I’ve ended two long-term relationships where I was the main bread winner supporting an artist in their chosen field. In both circumstances the guys, who professed their undying love and commitment, did not follow up on their end of the bargain (i.e. they were not nearly as ambitious about their art as I was in my own field). In the end, I grew to resent them for it and I ended the relationships. Not that I thought, “hey, they will become famous and I’ll get rich” but I at least wanted to see them put as much effort into their craft as I did my career. So, if you feel like she will come through in the end, that is become gainfully employed, then your sacrifices now are for a good thing; if she isn’t going to pull her weight in the future, then you will resent your sacrifices.
Best of luck to you both.