This is how the cold war really ended. The Americans and Soviets got together and agreed that if this continued, everyone would be dead, so they decided to have a contest to decide the winner once and for all. After some brainstorming, they decided to have a dog fight. Each side would go away and create some crazy fighting dog, and they would regroup five years later and have the dog fight.
The Soviets start breeding a dog that is comprised of pit bull, rottweiler, st. bernard (for size), and several kinds of wolf. They finally have their dog, and they start training it, making it big and strong. They also make it angry by beating it relentlessly, and it turns out to be the craziest dog you ever did see.
The five years is up, and the two sides meet. The Soviets come in with their crazy dog in a steel cage, barking constantly with foam dripping from its mouth. The Americans walk in with a dog that is 15 feet long, six inches tall, and completely calm. The Soviets erupt in laughter at the sight of this odd creature.
They put the two dogs in opposite corners of the cage and release their leashes. The Soviet dog immediately bolts towards the American dog. It's getting closer, and closer, and closer, and right as it is about to take its first bite, the American dog opens its mouth and swallows the Soviet dog whole.
"I don't understand!" exclaimed the Soviets. "We spent five years breeding the ultimate fighting dog!" The Americans replied, "We spent five years doing plastic surgery on an alligator."
_________________ Theologians still maintain there is a special place in Hell reserved for Wahlberg in return for the pain he inflicted during his mercifully brief career as a rapper.
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