discostu Wrote:
Be well Mugs.
MORPHINE - My Brain
lyrics - Mark Sandman
My whole brain was out of tune (x2)
I don't know how to tune a brain do you
Went into a brain shop
They said they'd have to rebuild the whole head
I said well do what you got to do
When I got my brain back, it didn't work right
Didn't have as many good ideas
Haven't really had a good idea since I got it fixed
Bingo, disco. I hadn't had any good ideas in a long time. I'm alreay afraid they are fading. Not sure what to do about that at the moment though.
Had the disability hearing today, it was rough, but the judge seemed to have a fair sense of empathy. I'll hear a result in 30 days or so. After that, I'll be in a better place to make some decisions about my life. A piece of me thinks I should find some place to live close to nature (Amherst, MA or VT near my cousins), say fuck it all and just go off my meds and see what happens...there was a place where my symbolic and real world were meshing pretty well, but it'd been so long since I've been there that I slingshotted past it.
It ain't a safe thing to do in a town like Toledo though. Crime rates are high, and we're 27mil in the hole, so they're cutting back on police during a recession....crime is gonna go through the roof this year. Areas that were 'safe' not too long ago are turning into slums.
I had my Xbox connected to my music hard drive and set to shuffle for a while. I don't remember which band it was, but the death metal hit the shuffle at a pretty rough time. Had nothing to do with you, Dalen. I'll scour through my library of 18K songs sometime in the future to clean out some of that crap that I'd never choose to listen to by choice.
The weight loss was over a period of 3 weeks, I gained a pound or two at the hospital--it was the most nutrition I'd had in a while.
As far as the 'bitches' are concerned, I'm getting close to a place where I might be capable of adding a relationship to my life. I had very little romance/passion left in me, and I ran into about 4 women on the ward that I could have fallen in love with. I guess that's a good sign--I'm tired of being a 41 year old bachelor--I may not be the 40 year old virgin, but I'm not far from it.
And thanks for all of your good wishes...it does mean a lot.