no guru Wrote:
Mick the Stripper Wrote:
Not to pry, but why do y'all wanna get married so bad? If the court told me I wasn't allowed to get married I probably wouldn't care.
I understand the equality/discrimination aspect, and yeah for that reason alone it's pretty abhorrent, but at the root of the issue, not being able to get married, I could deal with that.
Because an entire segment of the country is being told it's a moral threat that needs legislating against? I'd think that'd be enough impetus, not even taking into account all the legal benefits marriage brings that civil unions don't.
The "why do you need to" thing is something most often asked by the nicer end of the "don't like the gays much" but it's not a compelling argument anymore than 19th century men saying "why do women need to vote" was a compelling argument.
Well stated Spoon.
Micky, it's an interesting and valuable question. I "came of age" in a time and place where social conventions like marriage for anyone was highly suspicious. So many thought and behaved in these ways blurred the lines and challenged convention that I almost wound up in a life partnership with a woman...
But now, later in life, beyond the foundational issues of rights and fairness that Spoon cites, there are real issues of placing one's life in network of cultural norms, supports, and resources. As you cross into your 50's and look at the end of your life you think, who can accompany me? I sometimes see myself in a walker with my life-partner helping me to the table... as Dylan says, "it ain't dark yet, but it's getting there..." And the whole construct of "marriage" helps one adjust, plan, even look forward to these transitions. And "domestic partnership" (which is sorta like a car registration, or filling papers to start a business) just doesn't have the same power and capacity to help. I have been astonished that the reaction of friends and family to our marriage has had such an impact. All of these little cultural cues get stored in the tissue of everyday life... a warmth for the darkness to come.